Reading Help Gulliver's Travels. Part II, III, IV
forced to attend in the court, and outward rooms of the palace. I `
` knew, and could distinguish those two heroes, at first sight, not `
` only from the crowd, but from each other. Homer was the taller and `
` comelier person of the two, walked very erect for one of his age, `
` and his eyes were the most quick and piercing I ever beheld. `
` Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a staff. His visage was `
` meagre, his hair lank and thin, and his voice hollow. I soon `
` discovered that both of them were perfect strangers to the rest of `
` the company, and had never seen or heard of them before; and I had `
` a whisper from a ghost who shall be nameless, "that these `
` commentators always kept in the most distant quarters from their `
` principals, in the lower world, through a consciousness of shame `
` and guilt, because they had so horribly misrepresented the meaning `
` of those authors to posterity." I introduced Didymus and `
` Eustathius to Homer, and prevailed on him to treat them better than `
` perhaps they deserved, for he soon found they wanted a genius to `
` enter into the spirit of a poet. But Aristotle was out of all `
` patience with the account I gave him of Scotus and Ramus, as I `
` presented them to him; and he asked them, "whether the rest of the `
` tribe were as great dunces as themselves?" `
` `
` I then desired the governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, with `
` whom I prevailed to explain their systems to Aristotle. This great `
` philosopher freely acknowledged his own mistakes in natural `
` philosophy, because he proceeded in many things upon conjecture, as `
` all men must do; and he found that Gassendi, who had made the `
` doctrine of Epicurus as palatable as he could, and the vortices of `
` Descartes, were equally to be exploded. He predicted the same fate `
` to ATTRACTION, whereof the present learned are such zealous `
` asserters. He said, "that new systems of nature were but new `
` fashions, which would vary in every age; and even those, who `
` pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical principles, would `
` flourish but a short period of time, and be out of vogue when that `
` was determined." `
` `
` I spent five days in conversing with many others of the ancient `
` learned. I saw most of the first Roman emperors. I prevailed on `
` the governor to call up Heliogabalus's cooks to dress us a dinner, `
` but they could not show us much of their skill, for want of `
` materials. A helot of Agesilaus made us a dish of Spartan broth, `
` but I was not able to get down a second spoonful. `
` `
` The two gentlemen, who conducted me to the island, were pressed by `
` their private affairs to return in three days, which I employed in `
` seeing some of the modern dead, who had made the greatest figure, `
` for two or three hundred years past, in our own and other countries `
` of Europe; and having been always a great admirer of old `
` illustrious families, I desired the governor would call up a dozen `
` or two of kings, with their ancestors in order for eight or nine `
` generations. But my disappointment was grievous and unexpected. `
` For, instead of a long train with royal diadems, I saw in one `
` family two fiddlers, three spruce courtiers, and an Italian `
` prelate. In another, a barber, an abbot, and two cardinals. I `
` have too great a veneration for crowned heads, to dwell any longer `
` on so nice a subject. But as to counts, marquises, dukes, earls, `
` and the like, I was not so scrupulous. And I confess, it was not `
` without some pleasure, that I found myself able to trace the `
` particular features, by which certain families are distinguished, `
` up to their originals. I could plainly discover whence one family `
` derives a long chin; why a second has abounded with knaves for two `
` generations, and fools for two more; why a third happened to be `
` crack-brained, and a fourth to be sharpers; whence it came, what `
` Polydore Virgil says of a certain great house, Nec vir fortis, nec `
` foemina casta; how cruelty, falsehood, and cowardice, grew to be `
` characteristics by which certain families are distinguished as much `
` as by their coats of arms; who first brought the pox into a noble `
` house, which has lineally descended scrofulous tumours to their `
` posterity. Neither could I wonder at all this, when I saw such an `
` interruption of lineages, by pages, lackeys, valets, coachmen, `
` gamesters, fiddlers, players, captains, and pickpockets. `
` `
` I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having strictly `
` examined all the persons of greatest name in the courts of princes, `
` for a hundred years past, I found how the world had been misled by `
` prostitute writers, to ascribe the greatest exploits in war, to `
` cowards; the wisest counsel, to fools; sincerity, to flatterers; `
` Roman virtue, to betrayers of their country; piety, to atheists; `
` chastity, to sodomites; truth, to informers: how many innocent and `
` excellent persons had been condemned to death or banishment by the `
` practising of great ministers upon the corruption of judges, and `
` the malice of factions: how many villains had been exalted to the `
` highest places of trust, power, dignity, and profit: how great a `
` share in the motions and events of courts, councils, and senates `
` might be challenged by bawds, whores, pimps, parasites, and `
` buffoons. How low an opinion I had of human wisdom and integrity, `
` when I was truly informed of the springs and motives of great `
` enterprises and revolutions in the world, and of the contemptible `
` accidents to which they owed their success. `
` `
` Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who pretend to `
` write anecdotes, or secret history; who send so many kings to their `
` graves with a cup of poison; will repeat the discourse between a `
` prince and chief minister, where no witness was by; unlock the `
` thoughts and cabinets of ambassadors and secretaries of state; and `
` have the perpetual misfortune to be mistaken. Here I discovered `
` the true causes of many great events that have surprised the world; `
` how a whore can govern the back-stairs, the back-stairs a council, `
` and the council a senate. A general confessed, in my presence, `
` "that he got a victory purely by the force of cowardice and ill `
` conduct;" and an admiral, "that, for want of proper intelligence, `
` he beat the enemy, to whom he intended to betray the fleet." Three `
` kings protested to me, "that in their whole reigns they never did `
` once prefer any person of merit, unless by mistake, or treachery of `
` some minister in whom they confided; neither would they do it if `
` they were to live again:" and they showed, with great strength of `
` reason, "that the royal throne could not be supported without `
` corruption, because that positive, confident, restiff temper, which `
` virtue infused into a man, was a perpetual clog to public `
` business." `
` `
` I had the curiosity to inquire in a particular manner, by what `
` methods great numbers had procured to themselves high titles of `
` honour, and prodigious estates; and I confined my inquiry to a very `
` modern period: however, without grating upon present times, `
` because I would be sure to give no offence even to foreigners (for `
` I hope the reader need not be told, that I do not in the least `
` intend my own country, in what I say upon this occasion,) a great `
` number of persons concerned were called up; and, upon a very slight `
` examination, discovered such a scene of infamy, that I cannot `
` reflect upon it without some seriousness. Perjury, oppression, `
` subornation, fraud, pandarism, and the like infirmities, were among `
` the most excusable arts they had to mention; and for these I gave, `
` as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when some confessed `
` they owed their greatness and wealth to sodomy, or incest; others, `
` to the prostituting of their own wives and daughters; others, to `
` the betraying of their country or their prince; some, to poisoning; `
` more to the perverting of justice, in order to destroy the `
` innocent, I hope I may be pardoned, if these discoveries inclined `
` me a little to abate of that profound veneration, which I am `
` naturally apt to pay to persons of high rank, who ought to be `
` treated with the utmost respect due to their sublime dignity, by us `
` their inferiors. `
` `
` I had often read of some great services done to princes and states, `
` and desired to see the persons by whom those services were `
` performed. Upon inquiry I was told, "that their names were to be `
` found on no record, except a few of them, whom history has `
` represented as the vilest of rogues and traitors." As to the rest, `
` I had never once heard of them. They all appeared with dejected `
` looks, and in the meanest habit; most of them telling me, "they `
` died in poverty and disgrace, and the rest on a scaffold or a `
` gibbet." `
` `
` Among others, there was one person, whose case appeared a little `
` singular. He had a youth about eighteen years old standing by his `
` side. He told me, "he had for many years been commander of a ship; `
` and in the sea fight at Actium had the good fortune to break `
` through the enemy's great line of battle, sink three of their `
` capital ships, and take a fourth, which was the sole cause of `
` Antony's flight, and of the victory that ensued; that the youth `
` standing by him, his only son, was killed in the action." He `
` added, "that upon the confidence of some merit, the war being at an `
` end, he went to Rome, and solicited at the court of Augustus to be `
` preferred to a greater ship, whose commander had been killed; but, `
` without any regard to his pretensions, it was given to a boy who `
` had never seen the sea, the son of Libertina, who waited on one of `
` the emperor's mistresses. Returning back to his own vessel, he was `
` charged with neglect of duty, and the ship given to a favourite `
` page of Publicola, the vice-admiral; whereupon he retired to a poor `
` farm at a great distance from Rome, and there ended his life." I `
` was so curious to know the truth of this story, that I desired `
` Agrippa might be called, who was admiral in that fight. He `
` appeared, and confirmed the whole account: but with much more `
` advantage to the captain, whose modesty had extenuated or concealed `
` a great part of his merit. `
` `
` I was surprised to find corruption grown so high and so quick in `
` that empire, by the force of luxury so lately introduced; which `
` made me less wonder at many parallel cases in other countries, `
` where vices of all kinds have reigned so much longer, and where the `
` whole praise, as well as pillage, has been engrossed by the chief `
` commander, who perhaps had the least title to either. `
` `
` As every person called up made exactly the same appearance he had `
` done in the world, it gave me melancholy reflections to observe how `
` much the race of human kind was degenerated among us within these `
` hundred years past; how the pox, under all its consequences and `
` denominations had altered every lineament of an English `
` countenance; shortened the size of bodies, unbraced the nerves, `
` relaxed the sinews and muscles, introduced a sallow complexion, and `
` rendered the flesh loose and rancid. `
` `
` I descended so low, as to desire some English yeoman of the old `
` stamp might be summoned to appear; once so famous for the `
` simplicity of their manners, diet, and dress; for justice in their `
` dealings; for their true spirit of liberty; for their valour, and `
` love of their country. Neither could I be wholly unmoved, after `
` comparing the living with the dead, when I considered how all these `
` pure native virtues were prostituted for a piece of money by their `
` grand-children; who, in selling their votes and managing at `
` elections, have acquired every vice and corruption that can `
` possibly be learned in a court. `
` `
` `
` `
` CHAPTER IX. `
` `
` `
` `
` [The author returns to Maldonada. Sails to the kingdom of `
` Luggnagg. The author confined. He is sent for to court. The `
`
` knew, and could distinguish those two heroes, at first sight, not `
` only from the crowd, but from each other. Homer was the taller and `
` comelier person of the two, walked very erect for one of his age, `
` and his eyes were the most quick and piercing I ever beheld. `
` Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a staff. His visage was `
` meagre, his hair lank and thin, and his voice hollow. I soon `
` discovered that both of them were perfect strangers to the rest of `
` the company, and had never seen or heard of them before; and I had `
` a whisper from a ghost who shall be nameless, "that these `
` commentators always kept in the most distant quarters from their `
` principals, in the lower world, through a consciousness of shame `
` and guilt, because they had so horribly misrepresented the meaning `
` of those authors to posterity." I introduced Didymus and `
` Eustathius to Homer, and prevailed on him to treat them better than `
` perhaps they deserved, for he soon found they wanted a genius to `
` enter into the spirit of a poet. But Aristotle was out of all `
` patience with the account I gave him of Scotus and Ramus, as I `
` presented them to him; and he asked them, "whether the rest of the `
` tribe were as great dunces as themselves?" `
` `
` I then desired the governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, with `
` whom I prevailed to explain their systems to Aristotle. This great `
` philosopher freely acknowledged his own mistakes in natural `
` philosophy, because he proceeded in many things upon conjecture, as `
` all men must do; and he found that Gassendi, who had made the `
` doctrine of Epicurus as palatable as he could, and the vortices of `
` Descartes, were equally to be exploded. He predicted the same fate `
` to ATTRACTION, whereof the present learned are such zealous `
` asserters. He said, "that new systems of nature were but new `
` fashions, which would vary in every age; and even those, who `
` pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical principles, would `
` flourish but a short period of time, and be out of vogue when that `
` was determined." `
` `
` I spent five days in conversing with many others of the ancient `
` learned. I saw most of the first Roman emperors. I prevailed on `
` the governor to call up Heliogabalus's cooks to dress us a dinner, `
` but they could not show us much of their skill, for want of `
` materials. A helot of Agesilaus made us a dish of Spartan broth, `
` but I was not able to get down a second spoonful. `
` `
` The two gentlemen, who conducted me to the island, were pressed by `
` their private affairs to return in three days, which I employed in `
` seeing some of the modern dead, who had made the greatest figure, `
` for two or three hundred years past, in our own and other countries `
` of Europe; and having been always a great admirer of old `
` illustrious families, I desired the governor would call up a dozen `
` or two of kings, with their ancestors in order for eight or nine `
` generations. But my disappointment was grievous and unexpected. `
` For, instead of a long train with royal diadems, I saw in one `
` family two fiddlers, three spruce courtiers, and an Italian `
` prelate. In another, a barber, an abbot, and two cardinals. I `
` have too great a veneration for crowned heads, to dwell any longer `
` on so nice a subject. But as to counts, marquises, dukes, earls, `
` and the like, I was not so scrupulous. And I confess, it was not `
` without some pleasure, that I found myself able to trace the `
` particular features, by which certain families are distinguished, `
` up to their originals. I could plainly discover whence one family `
` derives a long chin; why a second has abounded with knaves for two `
` generations, and fools for two more; why a third happened to be `
` crack-brained, and a fourth to be sharpers; whence it came, what `
` Polydore Virgil says of a certain great house, Nec vir fortis, nec `
` foemina casta; how cruelty, falsehood, and cowardice, grew to be `
` characteristics by which certain families are distinguished as much `
` as by their coats of arms; who first brought the pox into a noble `
` house, which has lineally descended scrofulous tumours to their `
` posterity. Neither could I wonder at all this, when I saw such an `
` interruption of lineages, by pages, lackeys, valets, coachmen, `
` gamesters, fiddlers, players, captains, and pickpockets. `
` `
` I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having strictly `
` examined all the persons of greatest name in the courts of princes, `
` for a hundred years past, I found how the world had been misled by `
` prostitute writers, to ascribe the greatest exploits in war, to `
` cowards; the wisest counsel, to fools; sincerity, to flatterers; `
` Roman virtue, to betrayers of their country; piety, to atheists; `
` chastity, to sodomites; truth, to informers: how many innocent and `
` excellent persons had been condemned to death or banishment by the `
` practising of great ministers upon the corruption of judges, and `
` the malice of factions: how many villains had been exalted to the `
` highest places of trust, power, dignity, and profit: how great a `
` share in the motions and events of courts, councils, and senates `
` might be challenged by bawds, whores, pimps, parasites, and `
` buffoons. How low an opinion I had of human wisdom and integrity, `
` when I was truly informed of the springs and motives of great `
` enterprises and revolutions in the world, and of the contemptible `
` accidents to which they owed their success. `
` `
` Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who pretend to `
` write anecdotes, or secret history; who send so many kings to their `
` graves with a cup of poison; will repeat the discourse between a `
` prince and chief minister, where no witness was by; unlock the `
` thoughts and cabinets of ambassadors and secretaries of state; and `
` have the perpetual misfortune to be mistaken. Here I discovered `
` the true causes of many great events that have surprised the world; `
` how a whore can govern the back-stairs, the back-stairs a council, `
` and the council a senate. A general confessed, in my presence, `
` "that he got a victory purely by the force of cowardice and ill `
` conduct;" and an admiral, "that, for want of proper intelligence, `
` he beat the enemy, to whom he intended to betray the fleet." Three `
` kings protested to me, "that in their whole reigns they never did `
` once prefer any person of merit, unless by mistake, or treachery of `
` some minister in whom they confided; neither would they do it if `
` they were to live again:" and they showed, with great strength of `
` reason, "that the royal throne could not be supported without `
` corruption, because that positive, confident, restiff temper, which `
` virtue infused into a man, was a perpetual clog to public `
` business." `
` `
` I had the curiosity to inquire in a particular manner, by what `
` methods great numbers had procured to themselves high titles of `
` honour, and prodigious estates; and I confined my inquiry to a very `
` modern period: however, without grating upon present times, `
` because I would be sure to give no offence even to foreigners (for `
` I hope the reader need not be told, that I do not in the least `
` intend my own country, in what I say upon this occasion,) a great `
` number of persons concerned were called up; and, upon a very slight `
` examination, discovered such a scene of infamy, that I cannot `
` reflect upon it without some seriousness. Perjury, oppression, `
` subornation, fraud, pandarism, and the like infirmities, were among `
` the most excusable arts they had to mention; and for these I gave, `
` as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when some confessed `
` they owed their greatness and wealth to sodomy, or incest; others, `
` to the prostituting of their own wives and daughters; others, to `
` the betraying of their country or their prince; some, to poisoning; `
` more to the perverting of justice, in order to destroy the `
` innocent, I hope I may be pardoned, if these discoveries inclined `
` me a little to abate of that profound veneration, which I am `
` naturally apt to pay to persons of high rank, who ought to be `
` treated with the utmost respect due to their sublime dignity, by us `
` their inferiors. `
` `
` I had often read of some great services done to princes and states, `
` and desired to see the persons by whom those services were `
` performed. Upon inquiry I was told, "that their names were to be `
` found on no record, except a few of them, whom history has `
` represented as the vilest of rogues and traitors." As to the rest, `
` I had never once heard of them. They all appeared with dejected `
` looks, and in the meanest habit; most of them telling me, "they `
` died in poverty and disgrace, and the rest on a scaffold or a `
` gibbet." `
` `
` Among others, there was one person, whose case appeared a little `
` singular. He had a youth about eighteen years old standing by his `
` side. He told me, "he had for many years been commander of a ship; `
` and in the sea fight at Actium had the good fortune to break `
` through the enemy's great line of battle, sink three of their `
` capital ships, and take a fourth, which was the sole cause of `
` Antony's flight, and of the victory that ensued; that the youth `
` standing by him, his only son, was killed in the action." He `
` added, "that upon the confidence of some merit, the war being at an `
` end, he went to Rome, and solicited at the court of Augustus to be `
` preferred to a greater ship, whose commander had been killed; but, `
` without any regard to his pretensions, it was given to a boy who `
` had never seen the sea, the son of Libertina, who waited on one of `
` the emperor's mistresses. Returning back to his own vessel, he was `
` charged with neglect of duty, and the ship given to a favourite `
` page of Publicola, the vice-admiral; whereupon he retired to a poor `
` farm at a great distance from Rome, and there ended his life." I `
` was so curious to know the truth of this story, that I desired `
` Agrippa might be called, who was admiral in that fight. He `
` appeared, and confirmed the whole account: but with much more `
` advantage to the captain, whose modesty had extenuated or concealed `
` a great part of his merit. `
` `
` I was surprised to find corruption grown so high and so quick in `
` that empire, by the force of luxury so lately introduced; which `
` made me less wonder at many parallel cases in other countries, `
` where vices of all kinds have reigned so much longer, and where the `
` whole praise, as well as pillage, has been engrossed by the chief `
` commander, who perhaps had the least title to either. `
` `
` As every person called up made exactly the same appearance he had `
` done in the world, it gave me melancholy reflections to observe how `
` much the race of human kind was degenerated among us within these `
` hundred years past; how the pox, under all its consequences and `
` denominations had altered every lineament of an English `
` countenance; shortened the size of bodies, unbraced the nerves, `
` relaxed the sinews and muscles, introduced a sallow complexion, and `
` rendered the flesh loose and rancid. `
` `
` I descended so low, as to desire some English yeoman of the old `
` stamp might be summoned to appear; once so famous for the `
` simplicity of their manners, diet, and dress; for justice in their `
` dealings; for their true spirit of liberty; for their valour, and `
` love of their country. Neither could I be wholly unmoved, after `
` comparing the living with the dead, when I considered how all these `
` pure native virtues were prostituted for a piece of money by their `
` grand-children; who, in selling their votes and managing at `
` elections, have acquired every vice and corruption that can `
` possibly be learned in a court. `
` `
` `
` `
` CHAPTER IX. `
` `
` `
` `
` [The author returns to Maldonada. Sails to the kingdom of `
` Luggnagg. The author confined. He is sent for to court. The `
`