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not `
`
endure a husband with a beard on his face. I had rather lie `
`
in `
`
the woollen! `
`
Leon. You may light on a husband that hath no beard. `
`
Beat. What should I do with him? dress him in my apparel and `
`
make `
`
him my waiting gentlewoman? He that hath a beard is more than `
`
a `
`
youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man; and he `
`
that `
`
is more than a youth is not for me; and he that is less than `
`
a `
`
man, I am not for him. Therefore I will even take sixpence in `
`
earnest of the berrord and lead his apes into hell. `
`
Leon. Well then, go you into hell? `
`
Beat. No; but to the gate, and there will the devil meet me `
`
like an `
`
old cuckold with horns on his head, and say 'Get you to `
`
heaven, `
`
Beatrice, get you to heaven. Here's no place for you maids.' `
`
So `
`
deliver I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter--for the `
`
heavens. `
`
He shows me where the bachelors sit, and there live we as `
`
merry `
`
as the day is long. `
`
Ant. [to Hero] Well, niece, I trust you will be rul'd by your `
`
father. `
`
Beat. Yes faith. It is my cousin's duty to make cursy and say, `
`
'Father, as it please you.' But yet for all that, cousin, let `
`
him `
`
be a handsome fellow, or else make another cursy, and say, `
`
'Father, as it please me.' `
`
Leon. Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a `
`
husband. `
`
Beat. Not till God make men of some other metal than earth. `
`
Would `
`
it not grieve a woman to be overmaster'd with a piece of `
`
valiant `
`
dust? to make an account of her life to a clod of wayward `
`
marl? `
`
No, uncle, I'll none. Adam's sons are my brethren, and truly `
`
I `
`
hold it a sin to match in my kinred. `
`
Leon. Daughter, remember what I told you. If the Prince do `
`
solicit `
`
you in that kind, you know your answer. `
`
Beat. The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be not `
`
wooed `
`
in good time. If the Prince be too important, tell him there `
`
is `
`
measure in everything, and so dance out the answer. For, hear `
`
me, `
`
Hero: wooing, wedding, and repenting is as a Scotch jig, a `
`
measure, and a cinque-pace: the first suit is hot and hasty `
`
like `
`
a Scotch jig--and full as fantastical; the wedding, mannerly `
`
modest, as a measure, full of state and ancientry; and then `
`
comes `
`
Repentance and with his bad legs falls into the cinque-pace `
`
faster and faster, till he sink into his grave. `
`
Leon. Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly. `
`
Beat. I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church by daylight. `
`
Leon. The revellers are ent'ring, brother. Make good room. `
`
[Exit Antonio.] `
`
`
`
Enter, [masked,] Don Pedro, Claudio, Benedick, and Balthasar. `
`
[With them enter Antonio, also masked. After them enter] `
`
Don John [and Borachio (without masks), who stand aside `
`
and look on during the dance]. `
`
`
`
Pedro. Lady, will you walk a bout with your friend? `
`
Hero. So you walk softly and look sweetly and say nothing, `
`
I am yours for the walk; and especially when I walk away. `
`
Pedro. With me in your company? `
`
Hero. I may say so when I please. `
`
Pedro. And when please you to say so? `
`
Hero. When I like your favour, for God defend the lute should `
`
be `
`
like the case! `
`
Pedro. My visor is Philemon's roof; within the house is Jove. `
`
Hero. Why then, your visor should be thatch'd. `
`
Pedro. Speak low if you speak love. [Takes her aside.] `
`
Balth. Well, I would you did like me. `
`
Marg. So would not I for your own sake, for I have many ill `
`
qualities. `
`
Balth. Which is one? `
`
`
`
Marg. I say my prayers aloud. `
`
Balth. I love you the better. The hearers may cry Amen. `
`
Marg. God match me with a good dancer! `
`
Balth. Amen. `
`
Marg. And God keep him out of my sight when the dance is done! `
`
Answer, clerk. `
`
Balth. No more words. The clerk is answered. `
`
[Takes her aside.] `
`
Urs. I know you well enough. You are Signior Antonio. `
`
Ant. At a word, I am not. `
`
Urs. I know you by the waggling of your head. `
`
Ant. To tell you true, I counterfeit him. `
`
Urs. You could never do him so ill-well unless you were the `
`
very `
`
man. Here's his dry hand up and down. You are he, you are he! `
`
Ant. At a word, I am not. `
`
Urs. Come, come, do you think I do not know you by your `
`
excellent `
`
wit? Can virtue hide itself? Go to, mum you are he. Graces `
`
will `
`
appear, and there's an end. [ They step aside.] `
`
Beat. Will you not tell me who told you so? `
`
Bene. No, you shall pardon me. `
`
Beat. Nor will you not tell me who you are? `
`
Bene. Not now. `
`
Beat. That I was disdainful, and that I had my good wit out of `
`
the `
`
'Hundred Merry Tales.' Well, this was Signior Benedick that `
`
said `
`
so. `
`
Bene. What's he? `
`
Beat. I am sure you know him well enough. `
`
Bene. Not I, believe me. `
`
Beat. Did he never make you laugh? `
`
Bene. I pray you, what is he? `
`
Beat. Why, he is the Prince's jester, a very dull fool. Only `
`
his `
`
gift is in devising impossible slanders. None but libertines `
`
delight in him; and the commendation is not in his wit, but `
`
in `
`
his villany; for he both pleases men and angers them, and `
`
then `
`
they laugh at him and beat him. I am sure he is in the fleet. `
`
I would he had boarded me. `
`
Bene. When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him what you say. `
`
Beat. Do, do. He'll but break a comparison or two on me; which `
`
peradventure, not marked or not laugh'd at, strikes him into `
`
melancholy; and then there's a partridge wing saved, for the `
`
fool `
`
will eat no supper that night. `
`
[Music.] `
`
We must follow the leaders. `
`
Bene. In every good thing. `
`
Beat. Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at the `
`
next `
`
turning. `
`
Dance. Exeunt (all but Don John, Borachio, and Claudio]. `
`
John. Sure my brother is amorous on Hero and hath withdrawn her `
`
father to break with him about it. The ladies follow her and `
`
but `
`
one visor remains. `
`
Bora. And that is Claudio. I know him by his bearing. `
`
John. Are you not Signior Benedick? `
`
Claud. You know me well. I am he. `
`
John. Signior, you are very near my brother in his love. He is `
`
enamour'd on Hero. I pray you dissuade him from her; she is `
`
no `
`
equal for his birth. You may do the part of an honest man in `
`
it. `
`
Claud. How know you he loves her? `
`
John. I heard him swear his affection. `
`
Bora. So did I too, and he swore he would marry her tonight. `
`
John. Come, let us to the banquet. `
`
Exeunt. Manet Claudio. `
`
Claud. Thus answer I in name of Benedick `
`
But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio. `
`
[Unmasks.] `
`
'Tis certain so. The Prince wooes for himself. `
`
Friendship is constant in all other things `
`
Save in the office and affairs of love. `
`
Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues; `
`
Let every eye negotiate for itself `
`
And trust no agent; for beauty is a witch `
`
Against whose charms faith melteth into blood. `
`
This is an accident of hourly proof, `
`
Which I mistrusted not. Farewell therefore Hero! `
`
`
`
Enter Benedick [unmasked]. `
`
`
`
Bene. Count Claudio? `
`
Claud. Yea, the same. `
`
Bene. Come, will you go with me? `
`
Claud. Whither? `
`
Bene. Even to the next willow, about your own business, County. `
`
What `
`
fashion will you wear the garland of? about your neck, like `
`
an `
`
usurer's chain? or under your arm, like a lieutenant's scarf? `
`
You `
`
must wear it one way, for the Prince hath got your Hero. `
`
Claud. I wish him joy of her. `
`
Bene. Why, that's spoken like an honest drovier. So they sell `
`
bullocks. But did you think the Prince would have served you `
`
thus? `
`
Claud. I pray you leave me. `
`
Bene. Ho! now you strike like the blind man! 'Twas the boy that `
`
stole your meat, and you'll beat the post. `
`
Claud. If it will not be, I'll leave you. Exit. `
`
Bene. Alas, poor hurt fowl! now will he creep into sedges. But, `
`
that my Lady Beatrice should know me, and not know me! The `
`
Prince's fool! Ha! it may be I go under that title because I `
`
am `
`
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