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(Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse: `
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she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having `
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seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--to a `
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mouse--a mouse--O mouse!') The Mouse looked at her rather `
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inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little `
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eyes, but it said nothing. `
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`
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`Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; `I `
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daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the `
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Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had `
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no very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she `
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began again: `Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in `
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her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the `
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water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. `Oh, I beg `
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your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the `
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poor animal's feelings. `I quite forgot you didn't like cats.' `
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`Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate `
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voice. `Would YOU like cats if you were me?' `
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`Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: `don't be `
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angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: `
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I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. `
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She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, `
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as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring so `
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nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and `
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she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital `
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one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again, `
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for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt `
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certain it must be really offended. `We won't talk about her any `
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more if you'd rather not.' `
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`We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end `
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of his tail. `As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family `
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always HATED cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear `
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the name again!' `
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`I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the `
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subject of conversation. `Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?' `
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The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: `There is `
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such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you! `
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A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly `
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brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and `
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it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I `
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can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you `
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know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! `
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He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a `
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sorrowful tone, `I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the `
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Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and `
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making quite a commotion in the pool as it went. `
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`
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So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear! Do come back `
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again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't `
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like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam `
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slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice `
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thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, `Let us get to `
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the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll `
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understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.' `
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`
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It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded `
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with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a `
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Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious `
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creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the `
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shore. `
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CHAPTER III `
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A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale `
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They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the `
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bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their `
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fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and `
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uncomfortable. `
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`
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The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they `
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had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed `
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quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with `
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them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had `
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quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, `
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and would only say, `I am older than you, and must know better'; `
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and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was, `
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and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no `
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more to be said. `
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`
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At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among `
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them, called out, `Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL `
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soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large `
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ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes `
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anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad `
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cold if she did not get dry very soon. `
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`
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`Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are you all ready? `
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This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! `
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"William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was `
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soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been `
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of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and `
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Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"' `
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`
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`Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver. `
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`
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`I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very `
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politely: `Did you speak?' `
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`
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`Not I!' said the Lory hastily. `
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`
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`I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `--I proceed. "Edwin and `
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Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: `
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and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found `
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it advisable--"' `
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`
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`Found WHAT?' said the Duck. `
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`
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`Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of course you `
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know what "it" means.' `
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`I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said `
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the Duck: `it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, `
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what did the archbishop find?' `
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`
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The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, `
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`"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William `
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and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was `
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moderate. But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you `
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getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it `
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spoke. `
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`
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`As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it doesn't `
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seem to dry me at all.' `
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`
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`In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `I `
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move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more `
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energetic remedies--' `
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`
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`Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning of `
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half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do `
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either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: `
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some of the other birds tittered audibly. `
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`
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`What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, `
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`was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.' `
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`
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`What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much `
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to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY `
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ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything. `
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`
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`Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.' `
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(And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter `
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day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.) `
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First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the `
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exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party `
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were placed along the course, here and there. There was no `One, `
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two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked, `
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and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know `
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when the race was over. However, when they had been running half `
`
an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called `
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out `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting, `
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and asking, `But who has won?' `
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`
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This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of `
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thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon `
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its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, `
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in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At `
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last the Dodo said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must have `
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prizes.' `
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`
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`But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices `
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asked. `
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`
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`Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with `
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one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, `
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calling out in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!' `
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`
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Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand `
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in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt `
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water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. `
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There was exactly one a-piece all round. `
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`
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`But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse. `
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`
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`Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else have `
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you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice. `
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`
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`Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly. `
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`
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`Hand it over here,' said the Dodo. `
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`
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Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo `
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solemnly presented the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of `
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this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short `
`
speech, they all cheered. `
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`
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Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked `
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so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not `
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think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, `
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looking as solemn as she could. `
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`
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The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise `
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