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small straw, about the size of a walking-staff, and therewith `
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lifted up the lappets of my coat; which it seems he thought to be `
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some kind of covering that nature had given me. He blew my hairs `
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aside to take a better view of my face. He called his hinds about `
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him, and asked them, as I afterwards learned, whether they had ever `
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seen in the fields any little creature that resembled me. He then `
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placed me softly on the ground upon all fours, but I got `
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immediately up, and walked slowly backward and forward, to let `
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those people see I had no intent to run away. They all sat down in `
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a circle about me, the better to observe my motions. I pulled off `
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my hat, and made a low bow towards the farmer. I fell on my knees, `
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and lifted up my hands and eyes, and spoke several words as loud as `
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I could: I took a purse of gold out of my pocket, and humbly `
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presented it to him. He received it on the palm of his hand, then `
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applied it close to his eye to see what it was, and afterwards `
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turned it several times with the point of a pin (which he took out `
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of his sleeve,) but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a `
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sign that he should place his hand on the ground. I then took the `
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purse, and, opening it, poured all the gold into his palm. There `
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were six Spanish pieces of four pistoles each, beside twenty or `
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thirty smaller coins. I saw him wet the tip of his little finger `
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upon his tongue, and take up one of my largest pieces, and then `
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another; but he seemed to be wholly ignorant what they were. He `
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made me a sign to put them again into my purse, and the purse again `
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into my pocket, which, after offering it to him several times, I `
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thought it best to do. `
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The farmer, by this time, was convinced I must be a rational `
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creature. He spoke often to me; but the sound of his voice pierced `
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my ears like that of a water-mill, yet his words were articulate `
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enough. I answered as loud as I could in several languages, and he `
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often laid his ear within two yards of me: but all in vain, for we `
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were wholly unintelligible to each other. He then sent his `
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servants to their work, and taking his handkerchief out of his `
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pocket, he doubled and spread it on his left hand, which he placed `
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flat on the ground with the palm upward, making me a sign to step `
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into it, as I could easily do, for it was not above a foot in `
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thickness. I thought it my part to obey, and, for fear of falling, `
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laid myself at full length upon the handkerchief, with the `
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remainder of which he lapped me up to the head for further `
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security, and in this manner carried me home to his house. There `
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he called his wife, and showed me to her; but she screamed and ran `
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back, as women in England do at the sight of a toad or a spider. `
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However, when she had a while seen my behaviour, and how well I `
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observed the signs her husband made, she was soon reconciled, and `
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by degrees grew extremely tender of me. `
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It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in dinner. It `
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was only one substantial dish of meat (fit for the plain condition `
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of a husbandman,) in a dish of about four-and-twenty feet diameter. `
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The company were, the farmer and his wife, three children, and an `
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old grandmother. When they were sat down, the farmer placed me at `
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some distance from him on the table, which was thirty feet high `
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from the floor. I was in a terrible fright, and kept as far as I `
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could from the edge, for fear of falling. The wife minced a bit of `
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meat, then crumbled some bread on a trencher, and placed it before `
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me. I made her a low bow, took out my knife and fork, and fell to `
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eat, which gave them exceeding delight. The mistress sent her maid `
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for a small dram cup, which held about two gallons, and filled it `
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with drink; I took up the vessel with much difficulty in both `
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hands, and in a most respectful manner drank to her ladyship's `
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health, expressing the words as loud as I could in English, which `
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made the company laugh so heartily, that I was almost deafened with `
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the noise. This liquor tasted like a small cider, and was not `
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unpleasant. Then the master made me a sign to come to his trencher `
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side; but as I walked on the table, being in great surprise all the `
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time, as the indulgent reader will easily conceive and excuse, I `
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happened to stumble against a crust, and fell flat on my face, but `
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received no hurt. I got up immediately, and observing the good `
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people to be in much concern, I took my hat (which I held under my `
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arm out of good manners,) and waving it over my head, made three `
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huzzas, to show I had got no mischief by my fall. But advancing `
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forward towards my master (as I shall henceforth call him,) his `
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youngest son, who sat next to him, an arch boy of about ten years `
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old, took me up by the legs, and held me so high in the air, that I `
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trembled every limb: but his father snatched me from him, and at `
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the same time gave him such a box on the left ear, as would have `
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felled an European troop of horse to the earth, ordering him to be `
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taken from the table. But being afraid the boy might owe me a `
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spite, and well remembering how mischievous all children among us `
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naturally are to sparrows, rabbits, young kittens, and puppy dogs, `
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I fell on my knees, and pointing to the boy, made my master to `
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understand, as well as I could, that I desired his son might be `
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pardoned. The father complied, and the lad took his seat again, `
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whereupon I went to him, and kissed his hand, which my master took, `
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and made him stroke me gently with it. `
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In the midst of dinner, my mistress's favourite cat leaped into her `
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lap. I heard a noise behind me like that of a dozen stocking- `
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weavers at work; and turning my head, I found it proceeded from the `
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purring of that animal, who seemed to be three times larger than an `
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ox, as I computed by the view of her head, and one of her paws, `
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while her mistress was feeding and stroking her. The fierceness of `
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this creature's countenance altogether discomposed me; though I `
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stood at the farther end of the table, above fifty feet off; and `
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although my mistress held her fast, for fear she might give a `
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spring, and seize me in her talons. But it happened there was no `
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danger, for the cat took not the least notice of me when my master `
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placed me within three yards of her. And as I have been always `
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told, and found true by experience in my travels, that flying or `
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discovering fear before a fierce animal, is a certain way to make `
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it pursue or attack you, so I resolved, in this dangerous juncture, `
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to show no manner of concern. I walked with intrepidity five or `
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six times before the very head of the cat, and came within half a `
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yard of her; whereupon she drew herself back, as if she were more `
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afraid of me: I had less apprehension concerning the dogs, whereof `
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three or four came into the room, as it is usual in farmers' `
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houses; one of which was a mastiff, equal in bulk to four `
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elephants, and another a greyhound, somewhat taller than the `
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mastiff, but not so large. `
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When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a child of a `
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year old in her arms, who immediately spied me, and began a squall `
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that you might have heard from London-Bridge to Chelsea, after the `
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usual oratory of infants, to get me for a plaything. The mother, `
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out of pure indulgence, took me up, and put me towards the child, `
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who presently seized me by the middle, and got my head into his `
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mouth, where I roared so loud that the urchin was frighted, and let `
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me drop, and I should infallibly have broke my neck, if the mother `
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had not held her apron under me. The nurse, to quiet her babe, `
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made use of a rattle which was a kind of hollow vessel filled with `
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great stones, and fastened by a cable to the child's waist: but `
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all in vain; so that she was forced to apply the last remedy by `
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giving it suck. I must confess no object ever disgusted me so much `
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as the sight of her monstrous breast, which I cannot tell what to `
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compare with, so as to give the curious reader an idea of its bulk, `
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shape, and colour. It stood prominent six feet, and could not be `
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less than sixteen in circumference. The nipple was about half the `
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bigness of my head, and the hue both of that and the dug, so varied `
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with spots, pimples, and freckles, that nothing could appear more `
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nauseous: for I had a near sight of her, she sitting down, the `
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more conveniently to give suck, and I standing on the table. This `
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made me reflect upon the fair skins of our English ladies, who `
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appear so beautiful to us, only because they are of our own size, `
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and their defects not to be seen but through a magnifying glass; `
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where we find by experiment that the smoothest and whitest skins `
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look rough, and coarse, and ill-coloured. `
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I remember when I was at Lilliput, the complexion of those `
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diminutive people appeared to me the fairest in the world; and `
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talking upon this subject with a person of learning there, who was `
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an intimate friend of mine, he said that my face appeared much `
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fairer and smoother when he looked on me from the ground, than it `
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did upon a nearer view, when I took him up in my hand, and brought `
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him close, which he confessed was at first a very shocking sight. `
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He said, "he could discover great holes in my skin; that the stumps `
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of my beard were ten times stronger than the bristles of a boar, `
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and my complexion made up of several colours altogether `
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disagreeable:" although I must beg leave to say for myself, that I `
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am as fair as most of my sex and country, and very little sunburnt `
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by all my travels. On the other side, discoursing of the ladies in `
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that emperor's court, he used to tell me, "one had freckles; `
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another too wide a mouth; a third too large a nose;" nothing of `
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which I was able to distinguish. I confess this reflection was `
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obvious enough; which, however, I could not forbear, lest the `
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reader might think those vast creatures were actually deformed: `
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for I must do them the justice to say, they are a comely race of `
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people, and particularly the features of my master's countenance, `
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although he was but a farmer, when I beheld him from the height of `
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sixty feet, appeared very well proportioned. `
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When dinner was done, my master went out to his labourers, and, as `
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I could discover by his voice and gesture, gave his wife strict `
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charge to take care of me. I was very much tired, and disposed to `
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sleep, which my mistress perceiving, she put me on her own bed, and `
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covered me with a clean white handkerchief, but larger and coarser `
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than the mainsail of a man-of-war. `
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I slept about two hours, and dreamt I was at home with my wife and `
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children, which aggravated my sorrows when I awaked, and found `
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myself alone in a vast room, between two and three hundred feet `
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wide, and above two hundred high, lying in a bed twenty yards wide. `
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My mistress was gone about her household affairs, and had locked me `
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in. The bed was eight yards from the floor. Some natural `
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necessities required me to get down; I durst not presume to call; `
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and if I had, it would have been in vain, with such a voice as `
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mine, at so great a distance from the room where I lay to the `
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kitchen where the family kept. While I was under these `
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circumstances, two rats crept up the curtains, and ran smelling `
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backwards and forwards on the bed. One of them came up almost to `
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my face, whereupon I rose in a fright, and drew out my hanger to `
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defend myself. These horrible animals had the boldness to attack `
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me on both sides, and one of them held his fore-feet at my collar; `
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but I had the good fortune to rip up his belly before he could do `
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me any mischief. He fell down at my feet; and the other, seeing `
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the fate of his comrade, made his escape, but not without one good `
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wound on the back, which I gave him as he fled, and made the blood `
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run trickling from him. After this exploit, I walked gently to and `
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fro on the bed, to recover my breath and loss of spirits. These `
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creatures were of the size of a large mastiff, but infinitely more `
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nimble and fierce; so that if I had taken off my belt before I went `
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to sleep, I must have infallibly been torn to pieces and devoured. `
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I measured the tail of the dead rat, and found it to be two yards `
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long, wanting an inch; but it went against my stomach to drag the `
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carcass off the bed, where it lay still bleeding; I observed it had `
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yet some life, but with a strong slash across the neck, I `
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thoroughly despatched it. `
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Soon after my mistress came into the room, who seeing me all `
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bloody, ran and took me up in her hand. I pointed to the dead rat, `
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smiling, and making other signs to show I was not hurt; whereat she `
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