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My master's design was to show me in all the towns by the way, and `
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to step out of the road for fifty or a hundred miles, to any `
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village, or person of quality's house, where he might expect `
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custom. We made easy journeys, of not above seven or eight score `
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miles a-day; for Glumdalclitch, on purpose to spare me, complained `
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she was tired with the trotting of the horse. She often took me `
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out of my box, at my own desire, to give me air, and show me the `
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country, but always held me fast by a leading-string. We passed `
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over five or six rivers, many degrees broader and deeper than the `
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Nile or the Ganges: and there was hardly a rivulet so small as the `
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Thames at London-bridge. We were ten weeks in our journey, and I `
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was shown in eighteen large towns, besides many villages, and `
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private families. `
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On the 26th day of October we arrived at the metropolis, called in `
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their language Lorbrulgrud, or Pride of the Universe. My master `
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took a lodging in the principal street of the city, not far from `
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the royal palace, and put out bills in the usual form, containing `
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an exact description of my person and parts. He hired a large room `
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between three and four hundred feet wide. He provided a table `
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sixty feet in diameter, upon which I was to act my part, and `
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pallisadoed it round three feet from the edge, and as many high, to `
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prevent my falling over. I was shown ten times a-day, to the `
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wonder and satisfaction of all people. I could now speak the `
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language tolerably well, and perfectly understood every word, that `
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was spoken to me. Besides, I had learnt their alphabet, and could `
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make a shift to explain a sentence here and there; for `
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Glumdalclitch had been my instructor while we were at home, and at `
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leisure hours during our journey. She carried a little book in her `
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pocket, not much larger than a Sanson's Atlas; it was a common `
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treatise for the use of young girls, giving a short account of `
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their religion: out of this she taught me my letters, and `
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interpreted the words. `
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CHAPTER III. `
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[The author sent for to court. The queen buys him of his master `
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the farmer, and presents him to the king. He disputes with his `
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majesty's great scholars. An apartment at court provided for the `
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author. He is in high favour with the queen. He stands up for the `
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honour of his own country. His quarrels with the queen's dwarf.] `
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The frequent labours I underwent every day, made, in a few weeks, a `
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very considerable change in my health: the more my master got by `
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me, the more insatiable he grew. I had quite lost my stomach, and `
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was almost reduced to a skeleton. The farmer observed it, and `
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concluding I must soon die, resolved to make as good a hand of me `
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as he could. While he was thus reasoning and resolving with `
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himself, a sardral, or gentleman-usher, came from court, commanding `
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my master to carry me immediately thither for the diversion of the `
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queen and her ladies. Some of the latter had already been to see `
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me, and reported strange things of my beauty, behaviour, and good `
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sense. Her majesty, and those who attended her, were beyond `
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measure delighted with my demeanour. I fell on my knees, and `
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begged the honour of kissing her imperial foot; but this gracious `
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princess held out her little finger towards me, after I was set on `
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the table, which I embraced in both my arms, and put the tip of it `
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with the utmost respect to my lip. She made me some general `
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questions about my country and my travels, which I answered as `
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distinctly, and in as few words as I could. She asked, "whether I `
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could be content to live at court?" I bowed down to the board of `
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the table, and humbly answered "that I was my master's slave: but, `
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if I were at my own disposal, I should be proud to devote my life `
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to her majesty's service." She then asked my master, "whether he `
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was willing to sell me at a good price?" He, who apprehended I `
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could not live a month, was ready enough to part with me, and `
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demanded a thousand pieces of gold, which were ordered him on the `
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spot, each piece being about the bigness of eight hundred moidores; `
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but allowing for the proportion of all things between that country `
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and Europe, and the high price of gold among them, was hardly so `
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great a sum as a thousand guineas would be in England. I then said `
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to the queen, "since I was now her majesty's most humble creature `
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and vassal, I must beg the favour, that Glumdalclitch, who had `
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always tended me with so much care and kindness, and understood to `
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do it so well, might be admitted into her service, and continue to `
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be my nurse and instructor." `
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Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer's `
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consent, who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at `
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court, and the poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy. My `
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late master withdrew, bidding me farewell, and saying he had left `
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me in a good service; to which I replied not a word, only making `
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him a slight bow. `
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The queen observed my coldness; and, when the farmer was gone out `
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of the apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her `
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majesty, "that I owed no other obligation to my late master, than `
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his not dashing out the brains of a poor harmless creature, found `
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by chance in his fields: which obligation was amply recompensed, `
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by the gain he had made in showing me through half the kingdom, and `
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the price he had now sold me for. That the life I had since led `
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was laborious enough to kill an animal of ten times my strength. `
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That my health was much impaired, by the continual drudgery of `
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entertaining the rabble every hour of the day; and that, if my `
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master had not thought my life in danger, her majesty would not `
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have got so cheap a bargain. But as I was out of all fear of being `
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ill-treated under the protection of so great and good an empress, `
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the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the delight of `
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her subjects, the phoenix of the creation, so I hoped my late `
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master's apprehensions would appear to be groundless; for I already `
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found my spirits revive, by the influence of her most august `
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presence." `
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This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties `
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and hesitation. The latter part was altogether framed in the style `
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peculiar to that people, whereof I learned some phrases from `
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Glumdalclitch, while she was carrying me to court. `
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The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in speaking, `
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was, however, surprised at so much wit and good sense in so `
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diminutive an animal. She took me in her own hand, and carried me `
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to the king, who was then retired to his cabinet. His majesty, a `
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prince of much gravity and austere countenance, not well observing `
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my shape at first view, asked the queen after a cold manner "how `
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long it was since she grew fond of a splacnuck?" for such it seems `
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he took me to be, as I lay upon my breast in her majesty's right `
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hand. But this princess, who has an infinite deal of wit and `
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humour, set me gently on my feet upon the scrutoire, and commanded `
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me to give his majesty an account of myself, which I did in a very `
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few words: and Glumdalclitch who attended at the cabinet door, and `
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could not endure I should be out of her sight, being admitted, `
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confirmed all that had passed from my arrival at her father's `
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house. `
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The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his `
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dominions, had been educated in the study of philosophy, and `
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particularly mathematics; yet when he observed my shape exactly, `
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and saw me walk erect, before I began to speak, conceived I might `
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be a piece of clock-work (which is in that country arrived to a `
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very great perfection) contrived by some ingenious artist. But `
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when he heard my voice, and found what I delivered to be regular `
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and rational, he could not conceal his astonishment. He was by no `
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means satisfied with the relation I gave him of the manner I came `
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into his kingdom, but thought it a story concerted between `
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Glumdalclitch and her father, who had taught me a set of words to `
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make me sell at a better price. Upon this imagination, he put `
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several other questions to me, and still received rational answers: `
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no otherwise defective than by a foreign accent, and an imperfect `
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knowledge in the language, with some rustic phrases which I had `
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learned at the farmer's house, and did not suit the polite style of `
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a court. `
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His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in their `
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weekly waiting, according to the custom in that country. These `
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gentlemen, after they had a while examined my shape with much `
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nicety, were of different opinions concerning me. They all agreed `
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that I could not be produced according to the regular laws of `
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nature, because I was not framed with a capacity of preserving my `
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life, either by swiftness, or climbing of trees, or digging holes `
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in the earth. They observed by my teeth, which they viewed with `
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great exactness, that I was a carnivorous animal; yet most `
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quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and field mice, with some `
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others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I should be able to `
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support myself, unless I fed upon snails and other insects, which `
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they offered, by many learned arguments, to evince that I could not `
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possibly do. One of these virtuosi seemed to think that I might be `
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an embryo, or abortive birth. But this opinion was rejected by the `
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other two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and finished; and `
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that I had lived several years, as it was manifest from my beard, `
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the stumps whereof they plainly discovered through a magnifying `
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glass. They would not allow me to be a dwarf, because my `
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littleness was beyond all degrees of comparison; for the queen's `
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favourite dwarf, the smallest ever known in that kingdom, was near `
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thirty feet high. After much debate, they concluded unanimously, `
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that I was only relplum scalcath, which is interpreted literally `
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lusus naturae; a determination exactly agreeable to the modern `
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philosophy of Europe, whose professors, disdaining the old evasion `
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of occult causes, whereby the followers of Aristotle endeavoured in `
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vain to disguise their ignorance, have invented this wonderful `
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solution of all difficulties, to the unspeakable advancement of `
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human knowledge. `
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After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or `
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two. I applied myself to the king, and assured his majesty, "that `
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I came from a country which abounded with several millions of both `
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sexes, and of my own stature; where the animals, trees, and houses, `
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were all in proportion, and where, by consequence, I might be as `
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able to defend myself, and to find sustenance, as any of his `
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majesty's subjects could do here; which I took for a full answer to `
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those gentlemen's arguments." To this they only replied with a `
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smile of contempt, saying, "that the farmer had instructed me very `
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well in my lesson." The king, who had a much better understanding, `
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dismissing his learned men, sent for the farmer, who by good `
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fortune was not yet gone out of town. Having therefore first `
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examined him privately, and then confronted him with me and the `
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young girl, his majesty began to think that what we told him might `
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possibly be true. He desired the queen to order that a particular `
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care should be taken of me; and was of opinion that Glumdalclitch `
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should still continue in her office of tending me, because he `
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observed we had a great affection for each other. A convenient `
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apartment was provided for her at court: she had a sort of `
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governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid to dress `
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her, and two other servants for menial offices; but the care of me `
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was wholly appropriated to herself. The queen commanded her own `
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cabinet-maker to contrive a box, that might serve me for a `
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bedchamber, after the model that Glumdalclitch and I should agree `
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upon. This man was a most ingenious artist, and according to my `
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