Reading Help DRACULA by Bram Stoker Ch.1-12
move downwards with considerable speed, just as a lizard moves along a `
` wall. `
` `
` What manner of man is this, or what manner of creature, is it in the `
` semblance of man? I feel the dread of this horrible place `
` overpowering me. I am in fear, in awful fear, and there is no escape `
` for me. I am encompassed about with terrors that I dare not think of. `
` `
` `
` 15 May.--Once more I have seen the count go out in his lizard fashion. `
` He moved downwards in a sidelong way, some hundred feet down, and a `
` good deal to the left. He vanished into some hole or window. When `
` his head had disappeared, I leaned out to try and see more, but `
` without avail. The distance was too great to allow a proper angle of `
` sight. I knew he had left the castle now, and thought to use the `
` opportunity to explore more than I had dared to do as yet. I went `
` back to the room, and taking a lamp, tried all the doors. They were `
` all locked, as I had expected, and the locks were comparatively new. `
` But I went down the stone stairs to the hall where I had entered `
` originally. I found I could pull back the bolts easily enough and `
` unhook the great chains. But the door was locked, and the key was `
` gone! That key must be in the Count's room. I must watch should his `
` door be unlocked, so that I may get it and escape. I went on to make `
` a thorough examination of the various stairs and passages, and to try `
` the doors that opened from them. One or two small rooms near the hall `
` were open, but there was nothing to see in them except old furniture, `
` dusty with age and moth-eaten. At last, however, I found one door at `
` the top of the stairway which, though it seemed locked, gave a little `
` under pressure. I tried it harder, and found that it was not really `
` locked, but that the resistance came from the fact that the hinges had `
` fallen somewhat, and the heavy door rested on the floor. Here was an `
` opportunity which I might not have again, so I exerted myself, and `
` with many efforts forced it back so that I could enter. I was now in `
` a wing of the castle further to the right than the rooms I knew and a `
` storey lower down. From the windows I could see that the suite of `
` rooms lay along to the south of the castle, the windows of the end `
` room looking out both west and south. On the latter side, as well as `
` to the former, there was a great precipice. The castle was built on `
` the corner of a great rock, so that on three sides it was quite `
` impregnable, and great windows were placed here where sling, or bow, `
` or culverin could not reach, and consequently light and comfort, `
` impossible to a position which had to be guarded, were secured. To `
` the west was a great valley, and then, rising far away, great jagged `
` mountain fastnesses, rising peak on peak, the sheer rock studded with `
` mountain ash and thorn, whose roots clung in cracks and crevices and `
` crannies of the stone. This was evidently the portion of the castle `
` occupied by the ladies in bygone days, for the furniture had more an `
` air of comfort than any I had seen. `
` `
` The windows were curtainless, and the yellow moonlight, flooding in `
` through the diamond panes, enabled one to see even colours, whilst it `
` softened the wealth of dust which lay over all and disguised in some `
` measure the ravages of time and moth. My lamp seemed to be of little `
` effect in the brilliant moonlight, but I was glad to have it with me, `
` for there was a dread loneliness in the place which chilled my heart `
` and made my nerves tremble. Still, it was better than living alone in `
` the rooms which I had come to hate from the presence of the Count, and `
` after trying a little to school my nerves, I found a soft quietude `
` come over me. Here I am, sitting at a little oak table where in old `
` times possibly some fair lady sat to pen, with much thought and many `
` blushes, her ill-spelt love letter, and writing in my diary in `
` shorthand all that has happened since I closed it last. It is the `
` nineteenth century up-to-date with a vengeance. And yet, unless my `
` senses deceive me, the old centuries had, and have, powers of their `
` own which mere "modernity" cannot kill. `
` `
` `
` Later: The morning of 16 May.--God preserve my sanity, for to this I `
` am reduced. Safety and the assurance of safety are things of the `
` past. Whilst I live on here there is but one thing to hope for, that `
` I may not go mad, if, indeed, I be not mad already. If I be sane, `
` then surely it is maddening to think that of all the foul things that `
` lurk in this hateful place the Count is the least dreadful to me, that `
` to him alone I can look for safety, even though this be only whilst I `
` can serve his purpose. Great God! Merciful God, let me be calm, for `
` out of that way lies madness indeed. I begin to get new lights on `
` certain things which have puzzled me. Up to now I never quite knew `
` what Shakespeare meant when he made Hamlet say, "My tablets! Quick, `
` my tablets! 'tis meet that I put it down," etc., For now, feeling as `
` though my own brain were unhinged or as if the shock had come which `
` must end in its undoing, I turn to my diary for repose. The habit of `
` entering accurately must help to soothe me. `
` `
` The Count's mysterious warning frightened me at the time. It frightens `
` me more not when I think of it, for in the future he has a fearful `
` hold upon me. I shall fear to doubt what he may say! `
` `
` When I had written in my diary and had fortunately replaced the book `
` and pen in my pocket I felt sleepy. The Count's warning came into my `
` mind, but I took pleasure in disobeying it. The sense of sleep was `
` upon me, and with it the obstinacy which sleep brings as outrider. The `
` soft moonlight soothed, and the wide expanse without gave a sense of `
` freedom which refreshed me. I determined not to return tonight to the `
` gloom-haunted rooms, but to sleep here, where, of old, ladies had sat `
` and sung and lived sweet lives whilst their gentle breasts were sad `
` for their menfolk away in the midst of remorseless wars. I drew a `
` great couch out of its place near the corner, so that as I lay, I `
` could look at the lovely view to east and south, and unthinking of and `
` uncaring for the dust, composed myself for sleep. I suppose I must `
` have fallen asleep. I hope so, but I fear, for all that followed was `
` startlingly real, so real that now sitting here in the broad, full `
` sunlight of the morning, I cannot in the least believe that it was all `
` sleep. `
` `
` I was not alone. The room was the same, unchanged in any way since I `
` came into it. I could see along the floor, in the brilliant `
` moonlight, my own footsteps marked where I had disturbed the long `
` accumulation of dust. In the moonlight opposite me were three young `
` women, ladies by their dress and manner. I thought at the time that I `
` must be dreaming when I saw them, they threw no shadow on the floor. `
` They came close to me, and looked at me for some time, and then `
` whispered together. Two were dark, and had high aquiline noses, like `
` the Count, and great dark, piercing eyes, that seemed to be almost red `
` when contrasted with the pale yellow moon. The other was fair, as `
` fair as can be, with great masses of golden hair and eyes like pale `
` sapphires. I seemed somehow to know her face, and to know it in `
` connection with some dreamy fear, but I could not recollect at the `
` moment how or where. All three had brilliant white teeth that shone `
` like pearls against the ruby of their voluptuous lips. There was `
` something about them that made me uneasy, some longing and at the same `
` time some deadly fear. I felt in my heart a wicked, burning desire `
` that they would kiss me with those red lips. It is not good to note `
` this down, lest some day it should meet Mina's eyes and cause her `
` pain, but it is the truth. They whispered together, and then they all `
` three laughed, such a silvery, musical laugh, but as hard as though `
` the sound never could have come through the softness of human lips. `
` It was like the intolerable, tingling sweetness of waterglasses when `
` played on by a cunning hand. The fair girl shook her head `
` coquettishly, and the other two urged her on. `
` `
` One said, "Go on! You are first, and we shall follow. Yours is the `
` right to begin." `
` `
` The other added, "He is young and strong. There are kisses for us `
` all." `
` `
` I lay quiet, looking out from under my eyelashes in an agony of `
` delightful anticipation. The fair girl advanced and bent over me till `
` I could feel the movement of her breath upon me. Sweet it was in one `
` sense, honey-sweet, and sent the same tingling through the nerves as `
` her voice, but with a bitter underlying the sweet, a bitter `
` offensiveness, as one smells in blood. `
` `
` I was afraid to raise my eyelids, but looked out and saw perfectly `
` under the lashes. The girl went on her knees, and bent over me, `
` simply gloating. There was a deliberate voluptuousness which was both `
` thrilling and repulsive, and as she arched her neck she actually `
` licked her lips like an animal, till I could see in the moonlight the `
` moisture shining on the scarlet lips and on the red tongue as it `
` lapped the white sharp teeth. Lower and lower went her head as the `
` lips went below the range of my mouth and chin and seemed to fasten on `
` my throat. Then she paused, and I could hear the churning sound of `
` her tongue as it licked her teeth and lips, and I could feel the hot `
` breath on my neck. Then the skin of my throat began to tingle as `
` one's flesh does when the hand that is to tickle it approaches nearer, `
` nearer. I could feel the soft, shivering touch of the lips on the `
` super sensitive skin of my throat, and the hard dents of two sharp `
` teeth, just touching and pausing there. I closed my eyes in `
` languorous ecstasy and waited, waited with beating heart. `
` `
` But at that instant, another sensation swept through me as quick as `
` lightning. I was conscious of the presence of the Count, and of his `
` being as if lapped in a storm of fury. As my eyes opened `
` involuntarily I saw his strong hand grasp the slender neck of the fair `
` woman and with giant's power draw it back, the blue eyes transformed `
` with fury, the white teeth champing with rage, and the fair cheeks `
` blazing red with passion. But the Count! Never did I imagine such `
` wrath and fury, even to the demons of the pit. His eyes were `
` positively blazing. The red light in them was lurid, as if the flames `
` of hell fire blazed behind them. His face was deathly pale, and the `
` lines of it were hard like drawn wires. The thick eyebrows that met `
` over the nose now seemed like a heaving bar of white-hot metal. With `
` a fierce sweep of his arm, he hurled the woman from him, and then `
` motioned to the others, as though he were beating them back. It was `
` the same imperious gesture that I had seen used to the wolves. In a `
` voice which, though low and almost in a whisper seemed to cut through `
` the air and then ring in the room he said, `
` `
` "How dare you touch him, any of you? How dare you cast eyes on him `
` when I had forbidden it? Back, I tell you all! This man belongs to `
` me! Beware how you meddle with him, or you'll have to deal with me." `
` `
` The fair girl, with a laugh of ribald coquetry, turned to answer him. `
` "You yourself never loved. You never love!" On this the other women `
` joined, and such a mirthless, hard, soulless laughter rang through the `
` room that it almost made me faint to hear. It seemed like the `
` pleasure of fiends. `
` `
` Then the Count turned, after looking at my face attentively, and said `
` in a soft whisper, "Yes, I too can love. You yourselves can tell it `
` from the past. Is it not so? Well, now I promise you that when I am `
` done with him you shall kiss him at your will. Now go! Go! I must `
` awaken him, for there is work to be done." `
` `
` "Are we to have nothing tonight?" said one of them, with a low laugh, `
` as she pointed to the bag which he had thrown upon the floor, and `
` which moved as though there were some living thing within it. For `
` answer he nodded his head. One of the women jumped forward and opened `
` it. If my ears did not deceive me there was a gasp and a low wail, as `
` of a half smothered child. The women closed round, whilst I was `
` aghast with horror. But as I looked, they disappeared, and with them `
`
` wall. `
` `
` What manner of man is this, or what manner of creature, is it in the `
` semblance of man? I feel the dread of this horrible place `
` overpowering me. I am in fear, in awful fear, and there is no escape `
` for me. I am encompassed about with terrors that I dare not think of. `
` `
` `
` 15 May.--Once more I have seen the count go out in his lizard fashion. `
` He moved downwards in a sidelong way, some hundred feet down, and a `
` good deal to the left. He vanished into some hole or window. When `
` his head had disappeared, I leaned out to try and see more, but `
` without avail. The distance was too great to allow a proper angle of `
` sight. I knew he had left the castle now, and thought to use the `
` opportunity to explore more than I had dared to do as yet. I went `
` back to the room, and taking a lamp, tried all the doors. They were `
` all locked, as I had expected, and the locks were comparatively new. `
` But I went down the stone stairs to the hall where I had entered `
` originally. I found I could pull back the bolts easily enough and `
` unhook the great chains. But the door was locked, and the key was `
` gone! That key must be in the Count's room. I must watch should his `
` door be unlocked, so that I may get it and escape. I went on to make `
` a thorough examination of the various stairs and passages, and to try `
` the doors that opened from them. One or two small rooms near the hall `
` were open, but there was nothing to see in them except old furniture, `
` dusty with age and moth-eaten. At last, however, I found one door at `
` the top of the stairway which, though it seemed locked, gave a little `
` under pressure. I tried it harder, and found that it was not really `
` locked, but that the resistance came from the fact that the hinges had `
` fallen somewhat, and the heavy door rested on the floor. Here was an `
` opportunity which I might not have again, so I exerted myself, and `
` with many efforts forced it back so that I could enter. I was now in `
` a wing of the castle further to the right than the rooms I knew and a `
` storey lower down. From the windows I could see that the suite of `
` rooms lay along to the south of the castle, the windows of the end `
` room looking out both west and south. On the latter side, as well as `
` to the former, there was a great precipice. The castle was built on `
` the corner of a great rock, so that on three sides it was quite `
` impregnable, and great windows were placed here where sling, or bow, `
` or culverin could not reach, and consequently light and comfort, `
` impossible to a position which had to be guarded, were secured. To `
` the west was a great valley, and then, rising far away, great jagged `
` mountain fastnesses, rising peak on peak, the sheer rock studded with `
` mountain ash and thorn, whose roots clung in cracks and crevices and `
` crannies of the stone. This was evidently the portion of the castle `
` occupied by the ladies in bygone days, for the furniture had more an `
` air of comfort than any I had seen. `
` `
` The windows were curtainless, and the yellow moonlight, flooding in `
` through the diamond panes, enabled one to see even colours, whilst it `
` softened the wealth of dust which lay over all and disguised in some `
` measure the ravages of time and moth. My lamp seemed to be of little `
` effect in the brilliant moonlight, but I was glad to have it with me, `
` for there was a dread loneliness in the place which chilled my heart `
` and made my nerves tremble. Still, it was better than living alone in `
` the rooms which I had come to hate from the presence of the Count, and `
` after trying a little to school my nerves, I found a soft quietude `
` come over me. Here I am, sitting at a little oak table where in old `
` times possibly some fair lady sat to pen, with much thought and many `
` blushes, her ill-spelt love letter, and writing in my diary in `
` shorthand all that has happened since I closed it last. It is the `
` nineteenth century up-to-date with a vengeance. And yet, unless my `
` senses deceive me, the old centuries had, and have, powers of their `
` own which mere "modernity" cannot kill. `
` `
` `
` Later: The morning of 16 May.--God preserve my sanity, for to this I `
` am reduced. Safety and the assurance of safety are things of the `
` past. Whilst I live on here there is but one thing to hope for, that `
` I may not go mad, if, indeed, I be not mad already. If I be sane, `
` then surely it is maddening to think that of all the foul things that `
` lurk in this hateful place the Count is the least dreadful to me, that `
` to him alone I can look for safety, even though this be only whilst I `
` can serve his purpose. Great God! Merciful God, let me be calm, for `
` out of that way lies madness indeed. I begin to get new lights on `
` certain things which have puzzled me. Up to now I never quite knew `
` what Shakespeare meant when he made Hamlet say, "My tablets! Quick, `
` my tablets! 'tis meet that I put it down," etc., For now, feeling as `
` though my own brain were unhinged or as if the shock had come which `
` must end in its undoing, I turn to my diary for repose. The habit of `
` entering accurately must help to soothe me. `
` `
` The Count's mysterious warning frightened me at the time. It frightens `
` me more not when I think of it, for in the future he has a fearful `
` hold upon me. I shall fear to doubt what he may say! `
` `
` When I had written in my diary and had fortunately replaced the book `
` and pen in my pocket I felt sleepy. The Count's warning came into my `
` mind, but I took pleasure in disobeying it. The sense of sleep was `
` upon me, and with it the obstinacy which sleep brings as outrider. The `
` soft moonlight soothed, and the wide expanse without gave a sense of `
` freedom which refreshed me. I determined not to return tonight to the `
` gloom-haunted rooms, but to sleep here, where, of old, ladies had sat `
` and sung and lived sweet lives whilst their gentle breasts were sad `
` for their menfolk away in the midst of remorseless wars. I drew a `
` great couch out of its place near the corner, so that as I lay, I `
` could look at the lovely view to east and south, and unthinking of and `
` uncaring for the dust, composed myself for sleep. I suppose I must `
` have fallen asleep. I hope so, but I fear, for all that followed was `
` startlingly real, so real that now sitting here in the broad, full `
` sunlight of the morning, I cannot in the least believe that it was all `
` sleep. `
` `
` I was not alone. The room was the same, unchanged in any way since I `
` came into it. I could see along the floor, in the brilliant `
` moonlight, my own footsteps marked where I had disturbed the long `
` accumulation of dust. In the moonlight opposite me were three young `
` women, ladies by their dress and manner. I thought at the time that I `
` must be dreaming when I saw them, they threw no shadow on the floor. `
` They came close to me, and looked at me for some time, and then `
` whispered together. Two were dark, and had high aquiline noses, like `
` the Count, and great dark, piercing eyes, that seemed to be almost red `
` when contrasted with the pale yellow moon. The other was fair, as `
` fair as can be, with great masses of golden hair and eyes like pale `
` sapphires. I seemed somehow to know her face, and to know it in `
` connection with some dreamy fear, but I could not recollect at the `
` moment how or where. All three had brilliant white teeth that shone `
` like pearls against the ruby of their voluptuous lips. There was `
` something about them that made me uneasy, some longing and at the same `
` time some deadly fear. I felt in my heart a wicked, burning desire `
` that they would kiss me with those red lips. It is not good to note `
` this down, lest some day it should meet Mina's eyes and cause her `
` pain, but it is the truth. They whispered together, and then they all `
` three laughed, such a silvery, musical laugh, but as hard as though `
` the sound never could have come through the softness of human lips. `
` It was like the intolerable, tingling sweetness of waterglasses when `
` played on by a cunning hand. The fair girl shook her head `
` coquettishly, and the other two urged her on. `
` `
` One said, "Go on! You are first, and we shall follow. Yours is the `
` right to begin." `
` `
` The other added, "He is young and strong. There are kisses for us `
` all." `
` `
` I lay quiet, looking out from under my eyelashes in an agony of `
` delightful anticipation. The fair girl advanced and bent over me till `
` I could feel the movement of her breath upon me. Sweet it was in one `
` sense, honey-sweet, and sent the same tingling through the nerves as `
` her voice, but with a bitter underlying the sweet, a bitter `
` offensiveness, as one smells in blood. `
` `
` I was afraid to raise my eyelids, but looked out and saw perfectly `
` under the lashes. The girl went on her knees, and bent over me, `
` simply gloating. There was a deliberate voluptuousness which was both `
` thrilling and repulsive, and as she arched her neck she actually `
` licked her lips like an animal, till I could see in the moonlight the `
` moisture shining on the scarlet lips and on the red tongue as it `
` lapped the white sharp teeth. Lower and lower went her head as the `
` lips went below the range of my mouth and chin and seemed to fasten on `
` my throat. Then she paused, and I could hear the churning sound of `
` her tongue as it licked her teeth and lips, and I could feel the hot `
` breath on my neck. Then the skin of my throat began to tingle as `
` one's flesh does when the hand that is to tickle it approaches nearer, `
` nearer. I could feel the soft, shivering touch of the lips on the `
` super sensitive skin of my throat, and the hard dents of two sharp `
` teeth, just touching and pausing there. I closed my eyes in `
` languorous ecstasy and waited, waited with beating heart. `
` `
` But at that instant, another sensation swept through me as quick as `
` lightning. I was conscious of the presence of the Count, and of his `
` being as if lapped in a storm of fury. As my eyes opened `
` involuntarily I saw his strong hand grasp the slender neck of the fair `
` woman and with giant's power draw it back, the blue eyes transformed `
` with fury, the white teeth champing with rage, and the fair cheeks `
` blazing red with passion. But the Count! Never did I imagine such `
` wrath and fury, even to the demons of the pit. His eyes were `
` positively blazing. The red light in them was lurid, as if the flames `
` of hell fire blazed behind them. His face was deathly pale, and the `
` lines of it were hard like drawn wires. The thick eyebrows that met `
` over the nose now seemed like a heaving bar of white-hot metal. With `
` a fierce sweep of his arm, he hurled the woman from him, and then `
` motioned to the others, as though he were beating them back. It was `
` the same imperious gesture that I had seen used to the wolves. In a `
` voice which, though low and almost in a whisper seemed to cut through `
` the air and then ring in the room he said, `
` `
` "How dare you touch him, any of you? How dare you cast eyes on him `
` when I had forbidden it? Back, I tell you all! This man belongs to `
` me! Beware how you meddle with him, or you'll have to deal with me." `
` `
` The fair girl, with a laugh of ribald coquetry, turned to answer him. `
` "You yourself never loved. You never love!" On this the other women `
` joined, and such a mirthless, hard, soulless laughter rang through the `
` room that it almost made me faint to hear. It seemed like the `
` pleasure of fiends. `
` `
` Then the Count turned, after looking at my face attentively, and said `
` in a soft whisper, "Yes, I too can love. You yourselves can tell it `
` from the past. Is it not so? Well, now I promise you that when I am `
` done with him you shall kiss him at your will. Now go! Go! I must `
` awaken him, for there is work to be done." `
` `
` "Are we to have nothing tonight?" said one of them, with a low laugh, `
` as she pointed to the bag which he had thrown upon the floor, and `
` which moved as though there were some living thing within it. For `
` answer he nodded his head. One of the women jumped forward and opened `
` it. If my ears did not deceive me there was a gasp and a low wail, as `
` of a half smothered child. The women closed round, whilst I was `
` aghast with horror. But as I looked, they disappeared, and with them `
`