Reading Help Frankenstein Ch.10-24
spent more time in amusement and conversation, and were assisted in `
` their labours by servants. They did not appear rich, but they were `
` contented and happy; their feelings were serene and peaceful, while `
` mine became every day more tumultuous. Increase of knowledge only `
` discovered to me more clearly what a wretched outcast I was. I `
` cherished hope, it is true, but it vanished when I beheld my person `
` reflected in water or my shadow in the moonshine, even as that frail `
` image and that inconstant shade. `
` `
` "I endeavoured to crush these fears and to fortify myself for the trial `
` which in a few months I resolved to undergo; and sometimes I allowed my `
` thoughts, unchecked by reason, to ramble in the fields of Paradise, and `
` dared to fancy amiable and lovely creatures sympathizing with my `
` feelings and cheering my gloom; their angelic countenances breathed `
` smiles of consolation. But it was all a dream; no Eve soothed my `
` sorrows nor shared my thoughts; I was alone. I remembered Adam's `
` supplication to his Creator. But where was mine? He had abandoned me, `
` and in the bitterness of my heart I cursed him. `
` `
` "Autumn passed thus. I saw, with surprise and grief, the leaves decay `
` and fall, and nature again assume the barren and bleak appearance it `
` had worn when I first beheld the woods and the lovely moon. Yet I did `
` not heed the bleakness of the weather; I was better fitted by my `
` conformation for the endurance of cold than heat. But my chief `
` delights were the sight of the flowers, the birds, and all the gay `
` apparel of summer; when those deserted me, I turned with more attention `
` towards the cottagers. Their happiness was not decreased by the `
` absence of summer. They loved and sympathized with one another; and `
` their joys, depending on each other, were not interrupted by the `
` casualties that took place around them. The more I saw of them, the `
` greater became my desire to claim their protection and kindness; my `
` heart yearned to be known and loved by these amiable creatures; to see `
` their sweet looks directed towards me with affection was the utmost `
` limit of my ambition. I dared not think that they would turn them from `
` me with disdain and horror. The poor that stopped at their door were `
` never driven away. I asked, it is true, for greater treasures than a `
` little food or rest: I required kindness and sympathy; but I did not `
` believe myself utterly unworthy of it. `
` `
` "The winter advanced, and an entire revolution of the seasons had taken `
` place since I awoke into life. My attention at this time was solely `
` directed towards my plan of introducing myself into the cottage of my `
` protectors. I revolved many projects, but that on which I finally `
` fixed was to enter the dwelling when the blind old man should be `
` alone. I had sagacity enough to discover that the unnatural `
` hideousness of my person was the chief object of horror with those who `
` had formerly beheld me. My voice, although harsh, had nothing terrible `
` in it; I thought, therefore, that if in the absence of his children I `
` could gain the good will and mediation of the old De Lacey, I might by `
` his means be tolerated by my younger protectors. `
` `
` "One day, when the sun shone on the red leaves that strewed the ground `
` and diffused cheerfulness, although it denied warmth, Safie, Agatha, `
` and Felix departed on a long country walk, and the old man, at his own `
` desire, was left alone in the cottage. When his children had departed, `
` he took up his guitar and played several mournful but sweet airs, more `
` sweet and mournful than I had ever heard him play before. At first his `
` countenance was illuminated with pleasure, but as he continued, `
` thoughtfulness and sadness succeeded; at length, laying aside the `
` instrument, he sat absorbed in reflection. `
` `
` "My heart beat quick; this was the hour and moment of trial, which `
` would decide my hopes or realize my fears. The servants were gone to a `
` neighbouring fair. All was silent in and around the cottage; it was an `
` excellent opportunity; yet, when I proceeded to execute my plan, my `
` limbs failed me and I sank to the ground. Again I rose, and exerting `
` all the firmness of which I was master, removed the planks which I had `
` placed before my hovel to conceal my retreat. The fresh air revived `
` me, and with renewed determination I approached the door of their `
` cottage. `
` `
` "I knocked. `Who is there?' said the old man. `Come in.' `
` `
` "I entered. `Pardon this intrusion,' said I; `I am a traveller in want `
` of a little rest; you would greatly oblige me if you would allow me to `
` remain a few minutes before the fire.' `
` `
` "`Enter,' said De Lacey, `and I will try in what manner I can to `
` relieve your wants; but, unfortunately, my children are from home, and `
` as I am blind, I am afraid I shall find it difficult to procure food `
` for you.' `
` `
` "`Do not trouble yourself, my kind host; I have food; it is warmth and `
` rest only that I need.' `
` `
` "I sat down, and a silence ensued. I knew that every minute was `
` precious to me, yet I remained irresolute in what manner to commence `
` the interview, when the old man addressed me. `By your language, `
` stranger, I suppose you are my countryman; are you French?' `
` `
` "`No; but I was educated by a French family and understand that `
` language only. I am now going to claim the protection of some friends, `
` whom I sincerely love, and of whose favour I have some hopes.' `
` `
` "`Are they Germans?' `
` `
` "`No, they are French. But let us change the subject. I am an `
` unfortunate and deserted creature, I look around and I have no relation `
` or friend upon earth. These amiable people to whom I go have never `
` seen me and know little of me. I am full of fears, for if I fail `
` there, I am an outcast in the world forever.' `
` `
` "`Do not despair. To be friendless is indeed to be unfortunate, but `
` the hearts of men, when unprejudiced by any obvious self-interest, are `
` full of brotherly love and charity. Rely, therefore, on your hopes; `
` and if these friends are good and amiable, do not despair.' `
` `
` "`They are kind--they are the most excellent creatures in the world; `
` but, unfortunately, they are prejudiced against me. I have good `
` dispositions; my life has been hitherto harmless and in some degree `
` beneficial; but a fatal prejudice clouds their eyes, and where they `
` ought to see a feeling and kind friend, they behold only a detestable `
` monster.' `
` `
` "`That is indeed unfortunate; but if you are really blameless, cannot `
` you undeceive them?' `
` `
` "`I am about to undertake that task; and it is on that account that I `
` feel so many overwhelming terrors. I tenderly love these friends; I `
` have, unknown to them, been for many months in the habits of daily `
` kindness towards them; but they believe that I wish to injure them, and `
` it is that prejudice which I wish to overcome.' `
` `
` "`Where do these friends reside?' `
` `
` "`Near this spot.' `
` `
` "The old man paused and then continued, `If you will unreservedly `
` confide to me the particulars of your tale, I perhaps may be of use in `
` undeceiving them. I am blind and cannot judge of your countenance, but `
` there is something in your words which persuades me that you are `
` sincere. I am poor and an exile, but it will afford me true pleasure `
` to be in any way serviceable to a human creature.' `
` `
` "`Excellent man! I thank you and accept your generous offer. You `
` raise me from the dust by this kindness; and I trust that, by your aid, `
` I shall not be driven from the society and sympathy of your fellow `
` creatures.' `
` `
` "`Heaven forbid! Even if you were really criminal, for that can only `
` drive you to desperation, and not instigate you to virtue. I also am `
` unfortunate; I and my family have been condemned, although innocent; `
` judge, therefore, if I do not feel for your misfortunes.' `
` `
` "`How can I thank you, my best and only benefactor? From your lips `
` first have I heard the voice of kindness directed towards me; I shall `
` be forever grateful; and your present humanity assures me of success `
` with those friends whom I am on the point of meeting.' `
` `
` "`May I know the names and residence of those friends?' `
` `
` "I paused. This, I thought, was the moment of decision, which was to rob `
` me of or bestow happiness on me forever. I struggled vainly for firmness `
` sufficient to answer him, but the effort destroyed all my remaining `
` strength; I sank on the chair and sobbed aloud. At that moment I heard `
` the steps of my younger protectors. I had not a moment to lose, but `
` seizing the hand of the old man, I cried, `Now is the time! Save and `
` protect me! You and your family are the friends whom I seek. Do not `
` you desert me in the hour of trial!' `
` `
` "`Great God!' exclaimed the old man. `Who are you?' `
` `
` "At that instant the cottage door was opened, and Felix, Safie, and `
` Agatha entered. Who can describe their horror and consternation on `
` beholding me? Agatha fainted, and Safie, unable to attend to her `
` friend, rushed out of the cottage. Felix darted forward, and with `
` supernatural force tore me from his father, to whose knees I clung, in `
` a transport of fury, he dashed me to the ground and struck me violently `
` with a stick. I could have torn him limb from limb, as the lion rends `
` the antelope. But my heart sank within me as with bitter sickness, and `
` I refrained. I saw him on the point of repeating his blow, when, `
` overcome by pain and anguish, I quitted the cottage, and in the general `
` tumult escaped unperceived to my hovel." `
` `
` `
` Chapter 16 `
` `
` "Cursed, cursed creator! Why did I live? Why, in that instant, did I `
` not extinguish the spark of existence which you had so wantonly `
` bestowed? I know not; despair had not yet taken possession of me; my `
` feelings were those of rage and revenge. I could with pleasure have `
` destroyed the cottage and its inhabitants and have glutted myself with `
` their shrieks and misery. `
` `
` "When night came I quitted my retreat and wandered in the wood; and `
` now, no longer restrained by the fear of discovery, I gave vent to my `
` anguish in fearful howlings. I was like a wild beast that had broken `
` the toils, destroying the objects that obstructed me and ranging `
` through the wood with a stag-like swiftness. Oh! What a miserable `
` night I passed! The cold stars shone in mockery, and the bare trees `
` waved their branches above me; now and then the sweet voice of a bird `
` burst forth amidst the universal stillness. All, save I, were at rest `
` or in enjoyment; I, like the arch-fiend, bore a hell within me, and `
` finding myself unsympathized with, wished to tear up the trees, spread `
` havoc and destruction around me, and then to have sat down and enjoyed `
` the ruin. `
` `
` "But this was a luxury of sensation that could not endure; I became `
` fatigued with excess of bodily exertion and sank on the damp grass in `
` the sick impotence of despair. There was none among the myriads of men `
` that existed who would pity or assist me; and should I feel kindness `
`
` their labours by servants. They did not appear rich, but they were `
` contented and happy; their feelings were serene and peaceful, while `
` mine became every day more tumultuous. Increase of knowledge only `
` discovered to me more clearly what a wretched outcast I was. I `
` cherished hope, it is true, but it vanished when I beheld my person `
` reflected in water or my shadow in the moonshine, even as that frail `
` image and that inconstant shade. `
` `
` "I endeavoured to crush these fears and to fortify myself for the trial `
` which in a few months I resolved to undergo; and sometimes I allowed my `
` thoughts, unchecked by reason, to ramble in the fields of Paradise, and `
` dared to fancy amiable and lovely creatures sympathizing with my `
` feelings and cheering my gloom; their angelic countenances breathed `
` smiles of consolation. But it was all a dream; no Eve soothed my `
` sorrows nor shared my thoughts; I was alone. I remembered Adam's `
` supplication to his Creator. But where was mine? He had abandoned me, `
` and in the bitterness of my heart I cursed him. `
` `
` "Autumn passed thus. I saw, with surprise and grief, the leaves decay `
` and fall, and nature again assume the barren and bleak appearance it `
` had worn when I first beheld the woods and the lovely moon. Yet I did `
` not heed the bleakness of the weather; I was better fitted by my `
` conformation for the endurance of cold than heat. But my chief `
` delights were the sight of the flowers, the birds, and all the gay `
` apparel of summer; when those deserted me, I turned with more attention `
` towards the cottagers. Their happiness was not decreased by the `
` absence of summer. They loved and sympathized with one another; and `
` their joys, depending on each other, were not interrupted by the `
` casualties that took place around them. The more I saw of them, the `
` greater became my desire to claim their protection and kindness; my `
` heart yearned to be known and loved by these amiable creatures; to see `
` their sweet looks directed towards me with affection was the utmost `
` limit of my ambition. I dared not think that they would turn them from `
` me with disdain and horror. The poor that stopped at their door were `
` never driven away. I asked, it is true, for greater treasures than a `
` little food or rest: I required kindness and sympathy; but I did not `
` believe myself utterly unworthy of it. `
` `
` "The winter advanced, and an entire revolution of the seasons had taken `
` place since I awoke into life. My attention at this time was solely `
` directed towards my plan of introducing myself into the cottage of my `
` protectors. I revolved many projects, but that on which I finally `
` fixed was to enter the dwelling when the blind old man should be `
` alone. I had sagacity enough to discover that the unnatural `
` hideousness of my person was the chief object of horror with those who `
` had formerly beheld me. My voice, although harsh, had nothing terrible `
` in it; I thought, therefore, that if in the absence of his children I `
` could gain the good will and mediation of the old De Lacey, I might by `
` his means be tolerated by my younger protectors. `
` `
` "One day, when the sun shone on the red leaves that strewed the ground `
` and diffused cheerfulness, although it denied warmth, Safie, Agatha, `
` and Felix departed on a long country walk, and the old man, at his own `
` desire, was left alone in the cottage. When his children had departed, `
` he took up his guitar and played several mournful but sweet airs, more `
` sweet and mournful than I had ever heard him play before. At first his `
` countenance was illuminated with pleasure, but as he continued, `
` thoughtfulness and sadness succeeded; at length, laying aside the `
` instrument, he sat absorbed in reflection. `
` `
` "My heart beat quick; this was the hour and moment of trial, which `
` would decide my hopes or realize my fears. The servants were gone to a `
` neighbouring fair. All was silent in and around the cottage; it was an `
` excellent opportunity; yet, when I proceeded to execute my plan, my `
` limbs failed me and I sank to the ground. Again I rose, and exerting `
` all the firmness of which I was master, removed the planks which I had `
` placed before my hovel to conceal my retreat. The fresh air revived `
` me, and with renewed determination I approached the door of their `
` cottage. `
` `
` "I knocked. `Who is there?' said the old man. `Come in.' `
` `
` "I entered. `Pardon this intrusion,' said I; `I am a traveller in want `
` of a little rest; you would greatly oblige me if you would allow me to `
` remain a few minutes before the fire.' `
` `
` "`Enter,' said De Lacey, `and I will try in what manner I can to `
` relieve your wants; but, unfortunately, my children are from home, and `
` as I am blind, I am afraid I shall find it difficult to procure food `
` for you.' `
` `
` "`Do not trouble yourself, my kind host; I have food; it is warmth and `
` rest only that I need.' `
` `
` "I sat down, and a silence ensued. I knew that every minute was `
` precious to me, yet I remained irresolute in what manner to commence `
` the interview, when the old man addressed me. `By your language, `
` stranger, I suppose you are my countryman; are you French?' `
` `
` "`No; but I was educated by a French family and understand that `
` language only. I am now going to claim the protection of some friends, `
` whom I sincerely love, and of whose favour I have some hopes.' `
` `
` "`Are they Germans?' `
` `
` "`No, they are French. But let us change the subject. I am an `
` unfortunate and deserted creature, I look around and I have no relation `
` or friend upon earth. These amiable people to whom I go have never `
` seen me and know little of me. I am full of fears, for if I fail `
` there, I am an outcast in the world forever.' `
` `
` "`Do not despair. To be friendless is indeed to be unfortunate, but `
` the hearts of men, when unprejudiced by any obvious self-interest, are `
` full of brotherly love and charity. Rely, therefore, on your hopes; `
` and if these friends are good and amiable, do not despair.' `
` `
` "`They are kind--they are the most excellent creatures in the world; `
` but, unfortunately, they are prejudiced against me. I have good `
` dispositions; my life has been hitherto harmless and in some degree `
` beneficial; but a fatal prejudice clouds their eyes, and where they `
` ought to see a feeling and kind friend, they behold only a detestable `
` monster.' `
` `
` "`That is indeed unfortunate; but if you are really blameless, cannot `
` you undeceive them?' `
` `
` "`I am about to undertake that task; and it is on that account that I `
` feel so many overwhelming terrors. I tenderly love these friends; I `
` have, unknown to them, been for many months in the habits of daily `
` kindness towards them; but they believe that I wish to injure them, and `
` it is that prejudice which I wish to overcome.' `
` `
` "`Where do these friends reside?' `
` `
` "`Near this spot.' `
` `
` "The old man paused and then continued, `If you will unreservedly `
` confide to me the particulars of your tale, I perhaps may be of use in `
` undeceiving them. I am blind and cannot judge of your countenance, but `
` there is something in your words which persuades me that you are `
` sincere. I am poor and an exile, but it will afford me true pleasure `
` to be in any way serviceable to a human creature.' `
` `
` "`Excellent man! I thank you and accept your generous offer. You `
` raise me from the dust by this kindness; and I trust that, by your aid, `
` I shall not be driven from the society and sympathy of your fellow `
` creatures.' `
` `
` "`Heaven forbid! Even if you were really criminal, for that can only `
` drive you to desperation, and not instigate you to virtue. I also am `
` unfortunate; I and my family have been condemned, although innocent; `
` judge, therefore, if I do not feel for your misfortunes.' `
` `
` "`How can I thank you, my best and only benefactor? From your lips `
` first have I heard the voice of kindness directed towards me; I shall `
` be forever grateful; and your present humanity assures me of success `
` with those friends whom I am on the point of meeting.' `
` `
` "`May I know the names and residence of those friends?' `
` `
` "I paused. This, I thought, was the moment of decision, which was to rob `
` me of or bestow happiness on me forever. I struggled vainly for firmness `
` sufficient to answer him, but the effort destroyed all my remaining `
` strength; I sank on the chair and sobbed aloud. At that moment I heard `
` the steps of my younger protectors. I had not a moment to lose, but `
` seizing the hand of the old man, I cried, `Now is the time! Save and `
` protect me! You and your family are the friends whom I seek. Do not `
` you desert me in the hour of trial!' `
` `
` "`Great God!' exclaimed the old man. `Who are you?' `
` `
` "At that instant the cottage door was opened, and Felix, Safie, and `
` Agatha entered. Who can describe their horror and consternation on `
` beholding me? Agatha fainted, and Safie, unable to attend to her `
` friend, rushed out of the cottage. Felix darted forward, and with `
` supernatural force tore me from his father, to whose knees I clung, in `
` a transport of fury, he dashed me to the ground and struck me violently `
` with a stick. I could have torn him limb from limb, as the lion rends `
` the antelope. But my heart sank within me as with bitter sickness, and `
` I refrained. I saw him on the point of repeating his blow, when, `
` overcome by pain and anguish, I quitted the cottage, and in the general `
` tumult escaped unperceived to my hovel." `
` `
` `
` Chapter 16 `
` `
` "Cursed, cursed creator! Why did I live? Why, in that instant, did I `
` not extinguish the spark of existence which you had so wantonly `
` bestowed? I know not; despair had not yet taken possession of me; my `
` feelings were those of rage and revenge. I could with pleasure have `
` destroyed the cottage and its inhabitants and have glutted myself with `
` their shrieks and misery. `
` `
` "When night came I quitted my retreat and wandered in the wood; and `
` now, no longer restrained by the fear of discovery, I gave vent to my `
` anguish in fearful howlings. I was like a wild beast that had broken `
` the toils, destroying the objects that obstructed me and ranging `
` through the wood with a stag-like swiftness. Oh! What a miserable `
` night I passed! The cold stars shone in mockery, and the bare trees `
` waved their branches above me; now and then the sweet voice of a bird `
` burst forth amidst the universal stillness. All, save I, were at rest `
` or in enjoyment; I, like the arch-fiend, bore a hell within me, and `
` finding myself unsympathized with, wished to tear up the trees, spread `
` havoc and destruction around me, and then to have sat down and enjoyed `
` the ruin. `
` `
` "But this was a luxury of sensation that could not endure; I became `
` fatigued with excess of bodily exertion and sank on the damp grass in `
` the sick impotence of despair. There was none among the myriads of men `
` that existed who would pity or assist me; and should I feel kindness `
`