Reading Help Gulliver's Travels. Part II, III, IV
reputation of more industry, art, and sagacity, than many of the `
` larger kinds; and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I `
` hoped I might live to do his majesty some signal service." The `
` king heard me with attention, and began to conceive a much better `
` opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired "I would give `
` him as exact an account of the government of England as I possibly `
` could; because, as fond as princes commonly are of their own `
` customs (for so he conjectured of other monarchs, by my former `
` discourses), he should be glad to hear of any thing that might `
` deserve imitation." `
` `
` Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished for `
` the tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to `
` celebrate the praise of my own dear native country in a style equal `
` to its merits and felicity. `
` `
` I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our dominions `
` consisted of two islands, which composed three mighty kingdoms, `
` under one sovereign, beside our plantations in America. I dwelt `
` long upon the fertility of our soil, and the temperature of our `
` climate. I then spoke at large upon the constitution of an English `
` parliament; partly made up of an illustrious body called the House `
` of Peers; persons of the noblest blood, and of the most ancient and `
` ample patrimonies. I described that extraordinary care always `
` taken of their education in arts and arms, to qualify them for `
` being counsellors both to the king and kingdom; to have a share in `
` the legislature; to be members of the highest court of judicature, `
` whence there can be no appeal; and to be champions always ready for `
` the defence of their prince and country, by their valour, conduct, `
` and fidelity. That these were the ornament and bulwark of the `
` kingdom, worthy followers of their most renowned ancestors, whose `
` honour had been the reward of their virtue, from which their `
` posterity were never once known to degenerate. To these were `
` joined several holy persons, as part of that assembly, under the `
` title of bishops, whose peculiar business is to take care of `
` religion, and of those who instruct the people therein. These were `
` searched and sought out through the whole nation, by the prince and `
` his wisest counsellors, among such of the priesthood as were most `
` deservedly distinguished by the sanctity of their lives, and the `
` depth of their erudition; who were indeed the spiritual fathers of `
` the clergy and the people. `
` `
` That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly `
` called the House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen, `
` freely picked and culled out by the people themselves, for their `
` great abilities and love of their country, to represent the wisdom `
` of the whole nation. And that these two bodies made up the most `
` august assembly in Europe; to whom, in conjunction with the prince, `
` the whole legislature is committed. `
` `
` I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the judges, `
` those venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for `
` determining the disputed rights and properties of men, as well as `
` for the punishment of vice and protection of innocence. I `
` mentioned the prudent management of our treasury; the valour and `
` achievements of our forces, by sea and land. I computed the number `
` of our people, by reckoning how many millions there might be of `
` each religious sect, or political party among us. I did not omit `
` even our sports and pastimes, or any other particular which I `
` thought might redound to the honour of my country. And I finished `
` all with a brief historical account of affairs and events in `
` England for about a hundred years past. `
` `
` This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of `
` several hours; and the king heard the whole with great attention, `
` frequently taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums of `
` what questions he intended to ask me. `
` `
` When I had put an end to these long discources, his majesty, in a `
` sixth audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts, `
` queries, and objections, upon every article. He asked, "What `
` methods were used to cultivate the minds and bodies of our young `
` nobility, and in what kind of business they commonly spent the `
` first and teachable parts of their lives? What course was taken to `
` supply that assembly, when any noble family became extinct? What `
` qualifications were necessary in those who are to be created new `
` lords: whether the humour of the prince, a sum of money to a court `
` lady, or a design of strengthening a party opposite to the public `
` interest, ever happened to be the motive in those advancements? `
` What share of knowledge these lords had in the laws of their `
` country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to decide `
` the properties of their fellow-subjects in the last resort? `
` Whether they were always so free from avarice, partialities, or `
` want, that a bribe, or some other sinister view, could have no `
` place among them? Whether those holy lords I spoke of were always `
` promoted to that rank upon account of their knowledge in religious `
` matters, and the sanctity of their lives; had never been compliers `
` with the times, while they were common priests; or slavish `
` prostitute chaplains to some nobleman, whose opinions they `
` continued servilely to follow, after they were admitted into that `
` assembly?" `
` `
` He then desired to know, "What arts were practised in electing `
` those whom I called commoners: whether a stranger, with a strong `
` purse, might not influence the vulgar voters to choose him before `
` their own landlord, or the most considerable gentleman in the `
` neighbourhood? How it came to pass, that people were so violently `
` bent upon getting into this assembly, which I allowed to be a great `
` trouble and expense, often to the ruin of their families, without `
` any salary or pension? because this appeared such an exalted strain `
` of virtue and public spirit, that his majesty seemed to doubt it `
` might possibly not be always sincere." And he desired to know, `
` "Whether such zealous gentlemen could have any views of refunding `
` themselves for the charges and trouble they were at by sacrificing `
` the public good to the designs of a weak and vicious prince, in `
` conjunction with a corrupted ministry?" He multiplied his `
` questions, and sifted me thoroughly upon every part of this head, `
` proposing numberless inquiries and objections, which I think it not `
` prudent or convenient to repeat. `
` `
` Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his majesty `
` desired to be satisfied in several points: and this I was the `
` better able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by a long `
` suit in chancery, which was decreed for me with costs. He asked, `
` "What time was usually spent in determining between right and `
` wrong, and what degree of expense? Whether advocates and orators `
` had liberty to plead in causes manifestly known to be unjust, `
` vexatious, or oppressive? Whether party, in religion or politics, `
` were observed to be of any weight in the scale of justice? Whether `
` those pleading orators were persons educated in the general `
` knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, and other `
` local customs? Whether they or their judges had any part in `
` penning those laws, which they assumed the liberty of interpreting, `
` and glossing upon at their pleasure? Whether they had ever, at `
` different times, pleaded for and against the same cause, and cited `
` precedents to prove contrary opinions? Whether they were a rich or `
` a poor corporation? Whether they received any pecuniary reward for `
` pleading, or delivering their opinions? And particularly, whether `
` they were ever admitted as members in the lower senate?" `
` `
` He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said, "he `
` thought my memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes at `
` about five or six millions a-year, and when I came to mention the `
` issues, he found they sometimes amounted to more than double; for `
` the notes he had taken were very particular in this point, because `
` he hoped, as he told me, that the knowledge of our conduct might be `
` useful to him, and he could not be deceived in his calculations. `
` But, if what I told him were true, he was still at a loss how a `
` kingdom could run out of its estate, like a private person." He `
` asked me, "who were our creditors; and where we found money to pay `
` them?" He wondered to hear me talk of such chargeable and `
` expensive wars; "that certainly we must be a quarrelsome people, or `
` live among very bad neighbours, and that our generals must needs be `
` richer than our kings." He asked, what business we had out of our `
` own islands, unless upon the score of trade, or treaty, or to `
` defend the coasts with our fleet?" Above all, he was amazed to `
` hear me talk of a mercenary standing army, in the midst of peace, `
` and among a free people. He said, "if we were governed by our own `
` consent, in the persons of our representatives, he could not `
` imagine of whom we were afraid, or against whom we were to fight; `
` and would hear my opinion, whether a private man's house might not `
` be better defended by himself, his children, and family, than by `
` half-a-dozen rascals, picked up at a venture in the streets for `
` small wages, who might get a hundred times more by cutting their `
` throats?" `
` `
` He laughed at my "odd kind of arithmetic," as he was pleased to `
` call it, "in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a computation `
` drawn from the several sects among us, in religion and politics." `
` He said, "he knew no reason why those, who entertain opinions `
` prejudicial to the public, should be obliged to change, or should `
` not be obliged to conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any `
` government to require the first, so it was weakness not to enforce `
` the second: for a man may be allowed to keep poisons in his `
` closet, but not to vend them about for cordials." `
` `
` He observed, "that among the diversions of our nobility and gentry, `
` I had mentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age this `
` entertainment was usually taken up, and when it was laid down; how `
` much of their time it employed; whether it ever went so high as to `
` affect their fortunes; whether mean, vicious people, by their `
` dexterity in that art, might not arrive at great riches, and `
` sometimes keep our very nobles in dependence, as well as habituate `
` them to vile companions, wholly take them from the improvement of `
` their minds, and force them, by the losses they received, to learn `
` and practise that infamous dexterity upon others?" `
` `
` He was perfectly astonished with the historical account gave him of `
` our affairs during the last century; protesting "it was only a heap `
` of conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions, `
` banishments, the very worst effects that avarice, faction, `
` hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy, `
` lust, malice, and ambition, could produce." `
` `
` His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate `
` the sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions he made with `
` the answers I had given; then taking me into his hands, and `
` stroking me gently, delivered himself in these words, which I shall `
` never forget, nor the manner he spoke them in: "My little friend `
` Grildrig, you have made a most admirable panegyric upon your `
` country; you have clearly proved, that ignorance, idleness, and `
` vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifying a legislator; that `
` laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied, by those whose `
` interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding `
` them. I observe among you some lines of an institution, which, in `
` its original, might have been tolerable, but these half erased, and `
` the rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It does not `
` appear, from all you have said, how any one perfection is required `
` toward the procurement of any one station among you; much less, `
` that men are ennobled on account of their virtue; that priests are `
` advanced for their piety or learning; soldiers, for their conduct `
`
` larger kinds; and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I `
` hoped I might live to do his majesty some signal service." The `
` king heard me with attention, and began to conceive a much better `
` opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired "I would give `
` him as exact an account of the government of England as I possibly `
` could; because, as fond as princes commonly are of their own `
` customs (for so he conjectured of other monarchs, by my former `
` discourses), he should be glad to hear of any thing that might `
` deserve imitation." `
` `
` Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished for `
` the tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to `
` celebrate the praise of my own dear native country in a style equal `
` to its merits and felicity. `
` `
` I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our dominions `
` consisted of two islands, which composed three mighty kingdoms, `
` under one sovereign, beside our plantations in America. I dwelt `
` long upon the fertility of our soil, and the temperature of our `
` climate. I then spoke at large upon the constitution of an English `
` parliament; partly made up of an illustrious body called the House `
` of Peers; persons of the noblest blood, and of the most ancient and `
` ample patrimonies. I described that extraordinary care always `
` taken of their education in arts and arms, to qualify them for `
` being counsellors both to the king and kingdom; to have a share in `
` the legislature; to be members of the highest court of judicature, `
` whence there can be no appeal; and to be champions always ready for `
` the defence of their prince and country, by their valour, conduct, `
` and fidelity. That these were the ornament and bulwark of the `
` kingdom, worthy followers of their most renowned ancestors, whose `
` honour had been the reward of their virtue, from which their `
` posterity were never once known to degenerate. To these were `
` joined several holy persons, as part of that assembly, under the `
` title of bishops, whose peculiar business is to take care of `
` religion, and of those who instruct the people therein. These were `
` searched and sought out through the whole nation, by the prince and `
` his wisest counsellors, among such of the priesthood as were most `
` deservedly distinguished by the sanctity of their lives, and the `
` depth of their erudition; who were indeed the spiritual fathers of `
` the clergy and the people. `
` `
` That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly `
` called the House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen, `
` freely picked and culled out by the people themselves, for their `
` great abilities and love of their country, to represent the wisdom `
` of the whole nation. And that these two bodies made up the most `
` august assembly in Europe; to whom, in conjunction with the prince, `
` the whole legislature is committed. `
` `
` I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the judges, `
` those venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for `
` determining the disputed rights and properties of men, as well as `
` for the punishment of vice and protection of innocence. I `
` mentioned the prudent management of our treasury; the valour and `
` achievements of our forces, by sea and land. I computed the number `
` of our people, by reckoning how many millions there might be of `
` each religious sect, or political party among us. I did not omit `
` even our sports and pastimes, or any other particular which I `
` thought might redound to the honour of my country. And I finished `
` all with a brief historical account of affairs and events in `
` England for about a hundred years past. `
` `
` This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of `
` several hours; and the king heard the whole with great attention, `
` frequently taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums of `
` what questions he intended to ask me. `
` `
` When I had put an end to these long discources, his majesty, in a `
` sixth audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts, `
` queries, and objections, upon every article. He asked, "What `
` methods were used to cultivate the minds and bodies of our young `
` nobility, and in what kind of business they commonly spent the `
` first and teachable parts of their lives? What course was taken to `
` supply that assembly, when any noble family became extinct? What `
` qualifications were necessary in those who are to be created new `
` lords: whether the humour of the prince, a sum of money to a court `
` lady, or a design of strengthening a party opposite to the public `
` interest, ever happened to be the motive in those advancements? `
` What share of knowledge these lords had in the laws of their `
` country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to decide `
` the properties of their fellow-subjects in the last resort? `
` Whether they were always so free from avarice, partialities, or `
` want, that a bribe, or some other sinister view, could have no `
` place among them? Whether those holy lords I spoke of were always `
` promoted to that rank upon account of their knowledge in religious `
` matters, and the sanctity of their lives; had never been compliers `
` with the times, while they were common priests; or slavish `
` prostitute chaplains to some nobleman, whose opinions they `
` continued servilely to follow, after they were admitted into that `
` assembly?" `
` `
` He then desired to know, "What arts were practised in electing `
` those whom I called commoners: whether a stranger, with a strong `
` purse, might not influence the vulgar voters to choose him before `
` their own landlord, or the most considerable gentleman in the `
` neighbourhood? How it came to pass, that people were so violently `
` bent upon getting into this assembly, which I allowed to be a great `
` trouble and expense, often to the ruin of their families, without `
` any salary or pension? because this appeared such an exalted strain `
` of virtue and public spirit, that his majesty seemed to doubt it `
` might possibly not be always sincere." And he desired to know, `
` "Whether such zealous gentlemen could have any views of refunding `
` themselves for the charges and trouble they were at by sacrificing `
` the public good to the designs of a weak and vicious prince, in `
` conjunction with a corrupted ministry?" He multiplied his `
` questions, and sifted me thoroughly upon every part of this head, `
` proposing numberless inquiries and objections, which I think it not `
` prudent or convenient to repeat. `
` `
` Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his majesty `
` desired to be satisfied in several points: and this I was the `
` better able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by a long `
` suit in chancery, which was decreed for me with costs. He asked, `
` "What time was usually spent in determining between right and `
` wrong, and what degree of expense? Whether advocates and orators `
` had liberty to plead in causes manifestly known to be unjust, `
` vexatious, or oppressive? Whether party, in religion or politics, `
` were observed to be of any weight in the scale of justice? Whether `
` those pleading orators were persons educated in the general `
` knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, and other `
` local customs? Whether they or their judges had any part in `
` penning those laws, which they assumed the liberty of interpreting, `
` and glossing upon at their pleasure? Whether they had ever, at `
` different times, pleaded for and against the same cause, and cited `
` precedents to prove contrary opinions? Whether they were a rich or `
` a poor corporation? Whether they received any pecuniary reward for `
` pleading, or delivering their opinions? And particularly, whether `
` they were ever admitted as members in the lower senate?" `
` `
` He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said, "he `
` thought my memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes at `
` about five or six millions a-year, and when I came to mention the `
` issues, he found they sometimes amounted to more than double; for `
` the notes he had taken were very particular in this point, because `
` he hoped, as he told me, that the knowledge of our conduct might be `
` useful to him, and he could not be deceived in his calculations. `
` But, if what I told him were true, he was still at a loss how a `
` kingdom could run out of its estate, like a private person." He `
` asked me, "who were our creditors; and where we found money to pay `
` them?" He wondered to hear me talk of such chargeable and `
` expensive wars; "that certainly we must be a quarrelsome people, or `
` live among very bad neighbours, and that our generals must needs be `
` richer than our kings." He asked, what business we had out of our `
` own islands, unless upon the score of trade, or treaty, or to `
` defend the coasts with our fleet?" Above all, he was amazed to `
` hear me talk of a mercenary standing army, in the midst of peace, `
` and among a free people. He said, "if we were governed by our own `
` consent, in the persons of our representatives, he could not `
` imagine of whom we were afraid, or against whom we were to fight; `
` and would hear my opinion, whether a private man's house might not `
` be better defended by himself, his children, and family, than by `
` half-a-dozen rascals, picked up at a venture in the streets for `
` small wages, who might get a hundred times more by cutting their `
` throats?" `
` `
` He laughed at my "odd kind of arithmetic," as he was pleased to `
` call it, "in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a computation `
` drawn from the several sects among us, in religion and politics." `
` He said, "he knew no reason why those, who entertain opinions `
` prejudicial to the public, should be obliged to change, or should `
` not be obliged to conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any `
` government to require the first, so it was weakness not to enforce `
` the second: for a man may be allowed to keep poisons in his `
` closet, but not to vend them about for cordials." `
` `
` He observed, "that among the diversions of our nobility and gentry, `
` I had mentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age this `
` entertainment was usually taken up, and when it was laid down; how `
` much of their time it employed; whether it ever went so high as to `
` affect their fortunes; whether mean, vicious people, by their `
` dexterity in that art, might not arrive at great riches, and `
` sometimes keep our very nobles in dependence, as well as habituate `
` them to vile companions, wholly take them from the improvement of `
` their minds, and force them, by the losses they received, to learn `
` and practise that infamous dexterity upon others?" `
` `
` He was perfectly astonished with the historical account gave him of `
` our affairs during the last century; protesting "it was only a heap `
` of conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions, `
` banishments, the very worst effects that avarice, faction, `
` hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy, `
` lust, malice, and ambition, could produce." `
` `
` His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate `
` the sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions he made with `
` the answers I had given; then taking me into his hands, and `
` stroking me gently, delivered himself in these words, which I shall `
` never forget, nor the manner he spoke them in: "My little friend `
` Grildrig, you have made a most admirable panegyric upon your `
` country; you have clearly proved, that ignorance, idleness, and `
` vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifying a legislator; that `
` laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied, by those whose `
` interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding `
` them. I observe among you some lines of an institution, which, in `
` its original, might have been tolerable, but these half erased, and `
` the rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It does not `
` appear, from all you have said, how any one perfection is required `
` toward the procurement of any one station among you; much less, `
` that men are ennobled on account of their virtue; that priests are `
` advanced for their piety or learning; soldiers, for their conduct `
`