Reading Help Alice's adventure in wonderland
`
` `But what am I to do?' said Alice. `
` `
` `Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling. `
` `
` `Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: `
` `he's perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in. `
` `
` The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of `
` smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a `
` three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was `
` leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to `
` be full of soup. `
` `
` `There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to `
` herself, as well as she could for sneezing. `
` `
` There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the `
` Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was `
` sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause. The `
` only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook, `
` and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from `
` ear to ear. `
` `
` `Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for `
` she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to `
` speak first, `why your cat grins like that?' `
` `
` `It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, `and that's why. Pig!' `
` `
` She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice `
` quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed `
` to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on `
` again:-- `
` `
` `I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I `
` didn't know that cats COULD grin.' `
` `
` `They all can,' said the Duchess; `and most of 'em do.' `
` `
` `I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, `
` feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation. `
` `
` `You don't know much,' said the Duchess; `and that's a fact.' `
` `
` Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought `
` it would be as well to introduce some other subject of `
` conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took `
` the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work `
` throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby `
` --the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans, `
` plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when `
` they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it `
` was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not. `
` `
` `Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up `
` and down in an agony of terror. `Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS `
` nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very `
` nearly carried it off. `
` `
` `If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a `
` hoarse growl, `the world would go round a deal faster than it `
` does.' `
` `
` `Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very `
` glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her `
` knowledge. `Just think of what work it would make with the day `
` and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn `
` round on its axis--' `
` `
` `Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, `chop off her head!' `
` `
` Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant `
` to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and `
` seemed not to be listening, so she went on again: `Twenty-four `
` hours, I THINK; or is it twelve? I--' `
` `
` `Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; `I never could abide `
` figures!' And with that she began nursing her child again, `
` singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a `
` violent shake at the end of every line: `
` `
` `Speak roughly to your little boy, `
` And beat him when he sneezes: `
` He only does it to annoy, `
` Because he knows it teases.' `
` `
` CHORUS. `
` `
` (In which the cook and the baby joined):-- `
` `
` `Wow! wow! wow!' `
` `
` While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept `
` tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing `
` howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:-- `
` `
` `I speak severely to my boy, `
` I beat him when he sneezes; `
` For he can thoroughly enjoy `
` The pepper when he pleases!' `
` `
` CHORUS. `
` `
` `Wow! wow! wow!' `
` `
` `Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said `
` to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. `I must go and `
` get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of `
` the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out, `
` but it just missed her. `
` `
` Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer- `
` shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all `
` directions, `just like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor `
` little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it, `
` and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again, `
` so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much `
` as she could do to hold it. `
` `
` As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, `
` (which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep `
` tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its `
` undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. `IF I `
` don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, `they're sure `
` to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave it `
` behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the little thing `
` grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). `Don't `
` grunt,' said Alice; `that's not at all a proper way of expressing `
` yourself.' `
` `
` The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into `
` its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no `
` doubt that it had a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout `
` than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for `
` a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at `
` all. `But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and looked `
` into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears. `
` `
` No, there were no tears. `If you're going to turn into a pig, `
` my dear,' said Alice, seriously, `I'll have nothing more to do `
` with you. Mind now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or `
` grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for `
` some while in silence. `
` `
` Alice was just beginning to think to herself, `Now, what am I `
` to do with this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted `
` again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some `
` alarm. This time there could be NO mistake about it: it was `
` neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be `
` quite absurd for her to carry it further. `
` `
` So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to `
` see it trot away quietly into the wood. `If it had grown up,' `
` she said to herself, `it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: `
` but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began `
` thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as `
` pigs, and was just saying to herself, `if one only knew the right `
` way to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing `
` the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off. `
` `
` The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good- `
` natured, she thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great `
` many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect. `
` `
` `Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at `
` all know whether it would like the name: however, it only `
` grinned a little wider. `Come, it's pleased so far,' thought `
` Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please, which way I `
` ought to go from here?' `
` `
` `That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said `
` the Cat. `
` `
` `I don't much care where--' said Alice. `
` `
` `Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. `
` `
` `--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation. `
` `
` `Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk `
` long enough.' `
` `
` Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another `
` question. `What sort of people live about here?' `
` `
` `In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, `
` `lives a Hatter: and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw, `
` `lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.' `
` `
` `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. `
` `
` `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. `
` I'm mad. You're mad.' `
` `
` `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice. `
` `
` `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.' `
` `
` Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on `
` `And how do you know that you're mad?' `
`
` `But what am I to do?' said Alice. `
` `
` `Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling. `
` `
` `Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: `
` `he's perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in. `
` `
` The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of `
` smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a `
` three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was `
` leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to `
` be full of soup. `
` `
` `There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to `
` herself, as well as she could for sneezing. `
` `
` There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the `
` Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was `
` sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause. The `
` only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook, `
` and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from `
` ear to ear. `
` `
` `Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for `
` she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to `
` speak first, `why your cat grins like that?' `
` `
` `It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, `and that's why. Pig!' `
` `
` She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice `
` quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed `
` to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on `
` again:-- `
` `
` `I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I `
` didn't know that cats COULD grin.' `
` `
` `They all can,' said the Duchess; `and most of 'em do.' `
` `
` `I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, `
` feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation. `
` `
` `You don't know much,' said the Duchess; `and that's a fact.' `
` `
` Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought `
` it would be as well to introduce some other subject of `
` conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took `
` the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work `
` throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby `
` --the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans, `
` plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when `
` they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it `
` was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not. `
` `
` `Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up `
` and down in an agony of terror. `Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS `
` nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very `
` nearly carried it off. `
` `
` `If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a `
` hoarse growl, `the world would go round a deal faster than it `
` does.' `
` `
` `Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very `
` glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her `
` knowledge. `Just think of what work it would make with the day `
` and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn `
` round on its axis--' `
` `
` `Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, `chop off her head!' `
` `
` Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant `
` to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and `
` seemed not to be listening, so she went on again: `Twenty-four `
` hours, I THINK; or is it twelve? I--' `
` `
` `Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; `I never could abide `
` figures!' And with that she began nursing her child again, `
` singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a `
` violent shake at the end of every line: `
` `
` `Speak roughly to your little boy, `
` And beat him when he sneezes: `
` He only does it to annoy, `
` Because he knows it teases.' `
` `
` CHORUS. `
` `
` (In which the cook and the baby joined):-- `
` `
` `Wow! wow! wow!' `
` `
` While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept `
` tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing `
` howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:-- `
` `
` `I speak severely to my boy, `
` I beat him when he sneezes; `
` For he can thoroughly enjoy `
` The pepper when he pleases!' `
` `
` CHORUS. `
` `
` `Wow! wow! wow!' `
` `
` `Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said `
` to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. `I must go and `
` get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of `
` the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out, `
` but it just missed her. `
` `
` Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer- `
` shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all `
` directions, `just like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor `
` little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it, `
` and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again, `
` so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much `
` as she could do to hold it. `
` `
` As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, `
` (which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep `
` tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its `
` undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. `IF I `
` don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, `they're sure `
` to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave it `
` behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the little thing `
` grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). `Don't `
` grunt,' said Alice; `that's not at all a proper way of expressing `
` yourself.' `
` `
` The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into `
` its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no `
` doubt that it had a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout `
` than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for `
` a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at `
` all. `But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and looked `
` into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears. `
` `
` No, there were no tears. `If you're going to turn into a pig, `
` my dear,' said Alice, seriously, `I'll have nothing more to do `
` with you. Mind now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or `
` grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for `
` some while in silence. `
` `
` Alice was just beginning to think to herself, `Now, what am I `
` to do with this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted `
` again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some `
` alarm. This time there could be NO mistake about it: it was `
` neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be `
` quite absurd for her to carry it further. `
` `
` So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to `
` see it trot away quietly into the wood. `If it had grown up,' `
` she said to herself, `it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: `
` but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began `
` thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as `
` pigs, and was just saying to herself, `if one only knew the right `
` way to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing `
` the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off. `
` `
` The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good- `
` natured, she thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great `
` many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect. `
` `
` `Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at `
` all know whether it would like the name: however, it only `
` grinned a little wider. `Come, it's pleased so far,' thought `
` Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please, which way I `
` ought to go from here?' `
` `
` `That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said `
` the Cat. `
` `
` `I don't much care where--' said Alice. `
` `
` `Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. `
` `
` `--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation. `
` `
` `Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk `
` long enough.' `
` `
` Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another `
` question. `What sort of people live about here?' `
` `
` `In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, `
` `lives a Hatter: and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw, `
` `lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.' `
` `
` `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. `
` `
` `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. `
` I'm mad. You're mad.' `
` `
` `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice. `
` `
` `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.' `
` `
` Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on `
` `And how do you know that you're mad?' `
`