Reading Help Gulliver's Travels. Part II, III, IV
he gave me a close embrace, a compliment I could well have excused. `
` His employment, from his first coming into the academy, was an `
` operation to reduce human excrement to its original food, by `
` separating the several parts, removing the tincture which it `
` receives from the gall, making the odour exhale, and scumming off `
` the saliva. He had a weekly allowance, from the society, of a `
` vessel filled with human ordure, about the bigness of a Bristol `
` barrel. `
` `
` I saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder; who likewise `
` showed me a treatise he had written concerning the malleability of `
` fire, which he intended to publish. `
` `
` There was a most ingenious architect, who had contrived a new `
` method for building houses, by beginning at the roof, and working `
` downward to the foundation; which he justified to me, by the like `
` practice of those two prudent insects, the bee and the spider. `
` `
` There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices in his own `
` condition: their employment was to mix colours for painters, which `
` their master taught them to distinguish by feeling and smelling. `
` It was indeed my misfortune to find them at that time not very `
` perfect in their lessons, and the professor himself happened to be `
` generally mistaken. This artist is much encouraged and esteemed by `
` the whole fraternity. `
` `
` In another apartment I was highly pleased with a projector who had `
` found a device of ploughing the ground with hogs, to save the `
` charges of ploughs, cattle, and labour. The method is this: in an `
` acre of ground you bury, at six inches distance and eight deep, a `
` quantity of acorns, dates, chestnuts, and other mast or vegetables, `
` whereof these animals are fondest; then you drive six hundred or `
` more of them into the field, where, in a few days, they will root `
` up the whole ground in search of their food, and make it fit for `
` sowing, at the same time manuring it with their dung: it is true, `
` upon experiment, they found the charge and trouble very great, and `
` they had little or no crop. However it is not doubted, that this `
` invention may be capable of great improvement. `
` `
` I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were all hung `
` round with cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the artist to go in `
` and out. At my entrance, he called aloud to me, "not to disturb `
` his webs." He lamented "the fatal mistake the world had been so `
` long in, of using silkworms, while we had such plenty of domestic `
` insects who infinitely excelled the former, because they understood `
` how to weave, as well as spin." And he proposed further, "that by `
` employing spiders, the charge of dyeing silks should be wholly `
` saved;" whereof I was fully convinced, when he showed me a vast `
` number of flies most beautifully coloured, wherewith he fed his `
` spiders, assuring us "that the webs would take a tincture from `
` them; and as he had them of all hues, he hoped to fit everybody's `
` fancy, as soon as he could find proper food for the flies, of `
` certain gums, oils, and other glutinous matter, to give a strength `
` and consistence to the threads." `
` `
` There was an astronomer, who had undertaken to place a sun-dial `
` upon the great weathercock on the town-house, by adjusting the `
` annual and diurnal motions of the earth and sun, so as to answer `
` and coincide with all accidental turnings of the wind. `
` `
` I was complaining of a small fit of the colic, upon which my `
` conductor led me into a room where a great physician resided, who `
` was famous for curing that disease, by contrary operations from the `
` same instrument. He had a large pair of bellows, with a long `
` slender muzzle of ivory: this he conveyed eight inches up the `
` anus, and drawing in the wind, he affirmed he could make the guts `
` as lank as a dried bladder. But when the disease was more stubborn `
` and violent, he let in the muzzle while the bellows were full of `
` wind, which he discharged into the body of the patient; then `
` withdrew the instrument to replenish it, clapping his thumb `
` strongly against the orifice of then fundament; and this being `
` repeated three or four times, the adventitious wind would rush out, `
` bringing the noxious along with it, (like water put into a pump), `
` and the patient recovered. I saw him try both experiments upon a `
` dog, but could not discern any effect from the former. After the `
` latter the animal was ready to burst, and made so violent a `
` discharge as was very offensive to me and my companion. The dog `
` died on the spot, and we left the doctor endeavouring to recover `
` him, by the same operation. `
` `
` I visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my reader `
` with all the curiosities I observed, being studious of brevity. `
` `
` I had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other being `
` appropriated to the advancers of speculative learning, of whom I `
` shall say something, when I have mentioned one illustrious person `
` more, who is called among them "the universal artist." He told us `
` "he had been thirty years employing his thoughts for the `
` improvement of human life." He had two large rooms full of `
` wonderful curiosities, and fifty men at work. Some were condensing `
` air into a dry tangible substance, by extracting the nitre, and `
` letting the aqueous or fluid particles percolate; others softening `
` marble, for pillows and pin-cushions; others petrifying the hoofs `
` of a living horse, to preserve them from foundering. The artist `
` himself was at that time busy upon two great designs; the first, to `
` sow land with chaff, wherein he affirmed the true seminal virtue to `
` be contained, as he demonstrated by several experiments, which I `
` was not skilful enough to comprehend. The other was, by a certain `
` composition of gums, minerals, and vegetables, outwardly applied, `
` to prevent the growth of wool upon two young lambs; and he hoped, `
` in a reasonable time to propagate the breed of naked sheep, all `
` over the kingdom. `
` `
` We crossed a walk to the other part of the academy, where, as I `
` have already said, the projectors in speculative learning resided. `
` `
` The first professor I saw, was in a very large room, with forty `
` pupils about him. After salutation, observing me to look earnestly `
` upon a frame, which took up the greatest part of both the length `
` and breadth of the room, he said, "Perhaps I might wonder to see `
` him employed in a project for improving speculative knowledge, by `
` practical and mechanical operations. But the world would soon be `
` sensible of its usefulness; and he flattered himself, that a more `
` noble, exalted thought never sprang in any other man's head. Every `
` one knew how laborious the usual method is of attaining to arts and `
` sciences; whereas, by his contrivance, the most ignorant person, at `
` a reasonable charge, and with a little bodily labour, might write `
` books in philosophy, poetry, politics, laws, mathematics, and `
` theology, without the least assistance from genius or study." He `
` then led me to the frame, about the sides, whereof all his pupils `
` stood in ranks. It was twenty feet square, placed in the middle of `
` the room. The superfices was composed of several bits of wood, `
` about the bigness of a die, but some larger than others. They were `
` all linked together by slender wires. These bits of wood were `
` covered, on every square, with paper pasted on them; and on these `
` papers were written all the words of their language, in their `
` several moods, tenses, and declensions; but without any order. The `
` professor then desired me "to observe; for he was going to set his `
` engine at work." The pupils, at his command, took each of them `
` hold of an iron handle, whereof there were forty fixed round the `
` edges of the frame; and giving them a sudden turn, the whole `
` disposition of the words was entirely changed. He then commanded `
` six-and-thirty of the lads, to read the several lines softly, as `
` they appeared upon the frame; and where they found three or four `
` words together that might make part of a sentence, they dictated to `
` the four remaining boys, who were scribes. This work was repeated `
` three or four times, and at every turn, the engine was so `
` contrived, that the words shifted into new places, as the square `
` bits of wood moved upside down. `
` `
` Six hours a day the young students were employed in this labour; `
` and the professor showed me several volumes in large folio, already `
` collected, of broken sentences, which he intended to piece `
` together, and out of those rich materials, to give the world a `
` complete body of all arts and sciences; which, however, might be `
` still improved, and much expedited, if the public would raise a `
` fund for making and employing five hundred such frames in Lagado, `
` and oblige the managers to contribute in common their several `
` collections. `
` `
` He assured me "that this invention had employed all his thoughts `
` from his youth; that he had emptied the whole vocabulary into his `
` frame, and made the strictest computation of the general proportion `
` there is in books between the numbers of particles, nouns, and `
` verbs, and other parts of speech." `
` `
` I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person, for `
` his great communicativeness; and promised, "if ever I had the good `
` fortune to return to my native country, that I would do him `
` justice, as the sole inventor of this wonderful machine;" the form `
` and contrivance of which I desired leave to delineate on paper, as `
` in the figure here annexed. I told him, "although it were the `
` custom of our learned in Europe to steal inventions from each `
` other, who had thereby at least this advantage, that it became a `
` controversy which was the right owner; yet I would take such `
` caution, that he should have the honour entire, without a rival." `
` `
` We next went to the school of languages, where three professors sat `
` in consultation upon improving that of their own country. `
` `
` The first project was, to shorten discourse, by cutting `
` polysyllables into one, and leaving out verbs and participles, `
` because, in reality, all things imaginable are but norms. `
` `
` The other project was, a scheme for entirely abolishing all words `
` whatsoever; and this was urged as a great advantage in point of `
` health, as well as brevity. For it is plain, that every word we `
` speak is, in some degree, a diminution of our lunge by corrosion, `
` and, consequently, contributes to the shortening of our lives. An `
` expedient was therefore offered, "that since words are only names `
` for things, it would be more convenient for all men to carry about `
` them such things as were necessary to express a particular business `
` they are to discourse on." And this invention would certainly have `
` taken place, to the great ease as well as health of the subject, if `
` the women, in conjunction with the vulgar and illiterate, had not `
` threatened to raise a rebellion unless they might be allowed the `
` liberty to speak with their tongues, after the manner of their `
` forefathers; such constant irreconcilable enemies to science are `
` the common people. However, many of the most learned and wise `
` adhere to the new scheme of expressing themselves by things; which `
` has only this inconvenience attending it, that if a man's business `
` be very great, and of various kinds, he must be obliged, in `
` proportion, to carry a greater bundle of things upon his back, `
` unless he can afford one or two strong servants to attend him. I `
` have often beheld two of those sages almost sinking under the `
` weight of their packs, like pedlars among us, who, when they met in `
` the street, would lay down their loads, open their sacks, and hold `
` conversation for an hour together; then put up their implements, `
` help each other to resume their burdens, and take their leave. `
` `
` But for short conversations, a man may carry implements in his `
`
` His employment, from his first coming into the academy, was an `
` operation to reduce human excrement to its original food, by `
` separating the several parts, removing the tincture which it `
` receives from the gall, making the odour exhale, and scumming off `
` the saliva. He had a weekly allowance, from the society, of a `
` vessel filled with human ordure, about the bigness of a Bristol `
` barrel. `
` `
` I saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder; who likewise `
` showed me a treatise he had written concerning the malleability of `
` fire, which he intended to publish. `
` `
` There was a most ingenious architect, who had contrived a new `
` method for building houses, by beginning at the roof, and working `
` downward to the foundation; which he justified to me, by the like `
` practice of those two prudent insects, the bee and the spider. `
` `
` There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices in his own `
` condition: their employment was to mix colours for painters, which `
` their master taught them to distinguish by feeling and smelling. `
` It was indeed my misfortune to find them at that time not very `
` perfect in their lessons, and the professor himself happened to be `
` generally mistaken. This artist is much encouraged and esteemed by `
` the whole fraternity. `
` `
` In another apartment I was highly pleased with a projector who had `
` found a device of ploughing the ground with hogs, to save the `
` charges of ploughs, cattle, and labour. The method is this: in an `
` acre of ground you bury, at six inches distance and eight deep, a `
` quantity of acorns, dates, chestnuts, and other mast or vegetables, `
` whereof these animals are fondest; then you drive six hundred or `
` more of them into the field, where, in a few days, they will root `
` up the whole ground in search of their food, and make it fit for `
` sowing, at the same time manuring it with their dung: it is true, `
` upon experiment, they found the charge and trouble very great, and `
` they had little or no crop. However it is not doubted, that this `
` invention may be capable of great improvement. `
` `
` I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were all hung `
` round with cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the artist to go in `
` and out. At my entrance, he called aloud to me, "not to disturb `
` his webs." He lamented "the fatal mistake the world had been so `
` long in, of using silkworms, while we had such plenty of domestic `
` insects who infinitely excelled the former, because they understood `
` how to weave, as well as spin." And he proposed further, "that by `
` employing spiders, the charge of dyeing silks should be wholly `
` saved;" whereof I was fully convinced, when he showed me a vast `
` number of flies most beautifully coloured, wherewith he fed his `
` spiders, assuring us "that the webs would take a tincture from `
` them; and as he had them of all hues, he hoped to fit everybody's `
` fancy, as soon as he could find proper food for the flies, of `
` certain gums, oils, and other glutinous matter, to give a strength `
` and consistence to the threads." `
` `
` There was an astronomer, who had undertaken to place a sun-dial `
` upon the great weathercock on the town-house, by adjusting the `
` annual and diurnal motions of the earth and sun, so as to answer `
` and coincide with all accidental turnings of the wind. `
` `
` I was complaining of a small fit of the colic, upon which my `
` conductor led me into a room where a great physician resided, who `
` was famous for curing that disease, by contrary operations from the `
` same instrument. He had a large pair of bellows, with a long `
` slender muzzle of ivory: this he conveyed eight inches up the `
` anus, and drawing in the wind, he affirmed he could make the guts `
` as lank as a dried bladder. But when the disease was more stubborn `
` and violent, he let in the muzzle while the bellows were full of `
` wind, which he discharged into the body of the patient; then `
` withdrew the instrument to replenish it, clapping his thumb `
` strongly against the orifice of then fundament; and this being `
` repeated three or four times, the adventitious wind would rush out, `
` bringing the noxious along with it, (like water put into a pump), `
` and the patient recovered. I saw him try both experiments upon a `
` dog, but could not discern any effect from the former. After the `
` latter the animal was ready to burst, and made so violent a `
` discharge as was very offensive to me and my companion. The dog `
` died on the spot, and we left the doctor endeavouring to recover `
` him, by the same operation. `
` `
` I visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my reader `
` with all the curiosities I observed, being studious of brevity. `
` `
` I had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other being `
` appropriated to the advancers of speculative learning, of whom I `
` shall say something, when I have mentioned one illustrious person `
` more, who is called among them "the universal artist." He told us `
` "he had been thirty years employing his thoughts for the `
` improvement of human life." He had two large rooms full of `
` wonderful curiosities, and fifty men at work. Some were condensing `
` air into a dry tangible substance, by extracting the nitre, and `
` letting the aqueous or fluid particles percolate; others softening `
` marble, for pillows and pin-cushions; others petrifying the hoofs `
` of a living horse, to preserve them from foundering. The artist `
` himself was at that time busy upon two great designs; the first, to `
` sow land with chaff, wherein he affirmed the true seminal virtue to `
` be contained, as he demonstrated by several experiments, which I `
` was not skilful enough to comprehend. The other was, by a certain `
` composition of gums, minerals, and vegetables, outwardly applied, `
` to prevent the growth of wool upon two young lambs; and he hoped, `
` in a reasonable time to propagate the breed of naked sheep, all `
` over the kingdom. `
` `
` We crossed a walk to the other part of the academy, where, as I `
` have already said, the projectors in speculative learning resided. `
` `
` The first professor I saw, was in a very large room, with forty `
` pupils about him. After salutation, observing me to look earnestly `
` upon a frame, which took up the greatest part of both the length `
` and breadth of the room, he said, "Perhaps I might wonder to see `
` him employed in a project for improving speculative knowledge, by `
` practical and mechanical operations. But the world would soon be `
` sensible of its usefulness; and he flattered himself, that a more `
` noble, exalted thought never sprang in any other man's head. Every `
` one knew how laborious the usual method is of attaining to arts and `
` sciences; whereas, by his contrivance, the most ignorant person, at `
` a reasonable charge, and with a little bodily labour, might write `
` books in philosophy, poetry, politics, laws, mathematics, and `
` theology, without the least assistance from genius or study." He `
` then led me to the frame, about the sides, whereof all his pupils `
` stood in ranks. It was twenty feet square, placed in the middle of `
` the room. The superfices was composed of several bits of wood, `
` about the bigness of a die, but some larger than others. They were `
` all linked together by slender wires. These bits of wood were `
` covered, on every square, with paper pasted on them; and on these `
` papers were written all the words of their language, in their `
` several moods, tenses, and declensions; but without any order. The `
` professor then desired me "to observe; for he was going to set his `
` engine at work." The pupils, at his command, took each of them `
` hold of an iron handle, whereof there were forty fixed round the `
` edges of the frame; and giving them a sudden turn, the whole `
` disposition of the words was entirely changed. He then commanded `
` six-and-thirty of the lads, to read the several lines softly, as `
` they appeared upon the frame; and where they found three or four `
` words together that might make part of a sentence, they dictated to `
` the four remaining boys, who were scribes. This work was repeated `
` three or four times, and at every turn, the engine was so `
` contrived, that the words shifted into new places, as the square `
` bits of wood moved upside down. `
` `
` Six hours a day the young students were employed in this labour; `
` and the professor showed me several volumes in large folio, already `
` collected, of broken sentences, which he intended to piece `
` together, and out of those rich materials, to give the world a `
` complete body of all arts and sciences; which, however, might be `
` still improved, and much expedited, if the public would raise a `
` fund for making and employing five hundred such frames in Lagado, `
` and oblige the managers to contribute in common their several `
` collections. `
` `
` He assured me "that this invention had employed all his thoughts `
` from his youth; that he had emptied the whole vocabulary into his `
` frame, and made the strictest computation of the general proportion `
` there is in books between the numbers of particles, nouns, and `
` verbs, and other parts of speech." `
` `
` I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person, for `
` his great communicativeness; and promised, "if ever I had the good `
` fortune to return to my native country, that I would do him `
` justice, as the sole inventor of this wonderful machine;" the form `
` and contrivance of which I desired leave to delineate on paper, as `
` in the figure here annexed. I told him, "although it were the `
` custom of our learned in Europe to steal inventions from each `
` other, who had thereby at least this advantage, that it became a `
` controversy which was the right owner; yet I would take such `
` caution, that he should have the honour entire, without a rival." `
` `
` We next went to the school of languages, where three professors sat `
` in consultation upon improving that of their own country. `
` `
` The first project was, to shorten discourse, by cutting `
` polysyllables into one, and leaving out verbs and participles, `
` because, in reality, all things imaginable are but norms. `
` `
` The other project was, a scheme for entirely abolishing all words `
` whatsoever; and this was urged as a great advantage in point of `
` health, as well as brevity. For it is plain, that every word we `
` speak is, in some degree, a diminution of our lunge by corrosion, `
` and, consequently, contributes to the shortening of our lives. An `
` expedient was therefore offered, "that since words are only names `
` for things, it would be more convenient for all men to carry about `
` them such things as were necessary to express a particular business `
` they are to discourse on." And this invention would certainly have `
` taken place, to the great ease as well as health of the subject, if `
` the women, in conjunction with the vulgar and illiterate, had not `
` threatened to raise a rebellion unless they might be allowed the `
` liberty to speak with their tongues, after the manner of their `
` forefathers; such constant irreconcilable enemies to science are `
` the common people. However, many of the most learned and wise `
` adhere to the new scheme of expressing themselves by things; which `
` has only this inconvenience attending it, that if a man's business `
` be very great, and of various kinds, he must be obliged, in `
` proportion, to carry a greater bundle of things upon his back, `
` unless he can afford one or two strong servants to attend him. I `
` have often beheld two of those sages almost sinking under the `
` weight of their packs, like pedlars among us, who, when they met in `
` the street, would lay down their loads, open their sacks, and hold `
` conversation for an hour together; then put up their implements, `
` help each other to resume their burdens, and take their leave. `
` `
` But for short conversations, a man may carry implements in his `
`